Practice

[mylodon]

Title: Practice

Pairing: H/A

Rating: PG13

Summary: Horatio wants to help. More of my silliness.

Notes: No claim made on or profit made from these characters.

Practice

As soon as Archie was made Acting Lieutenant, Horatio decided that it was his absolute duty to begin to prepare his friend for the examination that must eventually be taken. He had ghastly memories of his own 'trial' at Gibraltar - at times he really felt that the oubliette at El Ferrol had been preferable; at least that had not involved uncomfortable interaction with superior officers. He would do anything to spare Kennedy a similar experience.

Hornblower thought that he would start helping his friend by hints and questions that he would surreptitiously feed into the conversation. Horatio being surreptitious? He could not be more bleeding obvious, was Archie's view - and extremely infuriating with it. He loved Horatio dearly, to the heart of his very being, but this behaviour was filling him with the desire to murder his lover. Kennedy started to fantasise about which method of dispatch would be bloodiest, or most satisfying, or both.

Hornblower's questions did not come as a rolling broadside, but at unexpected moments, like chaser shots from an unpredictable opponent. How Archie reacted to the bombardment depended on his mood and whether anyone else was present. Sometimes he would answer with generally sensible and surprisingly technical answers - otherwise the reply varied from the silly to the obscene. Horatio gave up searching for the definition of a rhumb line after he was asked for the third time whether it might be the queue of sailors when the mainbrace was spliced?

Kennedy had actually started devising potential replies in advance of Hornblower's questioning, with a view to making his friend as annoyed as possible.

"What will you say if they discuss being taken flat aback?"

"I will tell them that I have a great deal of experience of being taken flat aback. I may go on to elucidate that Horatio does it quite often and it is not an unpleasant experience. In my opinion the best course is to lie there and let him..."

"You are not taking this at all seriously." Hornblower pouted, an expression that as usual rendered Archie full of remorse and tender thoughts.

"I am sorry sir, I will attend to my lessons." Which he did for the next three questions, answering perfectly soberly until Hornblower unfortunately mentioned dismasting.

"Now there is a thing. I will have to admit that I have nothing to say about the subject - always taken extreme care of my mast and never received any complaints. Any chance of a practical demonstration at this point?"

The next question in Horatio's book concerned hot shot, so he shut it hastily and changed the subject.

Matters came to a head on the quarterdeck, during a particularly quiet watch.

"Archie, imagine you are close hauled on the port tack, bearing up channel with a nor-easterly wind blowing hard with Dover bearing north two miles. Now the wind...."

"If you do not stop this very moment Horatio, I will bend you over the capstan, take my sextant and stick it up your...ah, so glad that you have joined us Mr Bracegirdle. Mr Hornblower says that he can still not grasp the principles of establishing longitude by the moons of Jupiter and is very keen for you to explain it to him. In detail." Kennedy tipped his hat and sloped off bearing a broad grin.

Much to Bracegirdle's disappointment, he had hardly begun his engrossing explanation before the voice of Jove rent the air.

"Mistah Hornblower, the great cabin - now!" Captain Pellew's voice could carry four hundred yards in a gale and it pierced the lieutenant to the core.

"Aye, aye sir," he replied to the swiftly disappearing back. He scurried along, adjusting his uniform as he went.

"Mr Hornblower," Pellew fixed the young man with a fierce stare. "Leave him alone - Mr Kennedy - give him some ease from your attentions."

Horatio's heart stopped; he could not catch his breath. Pellew had discovered - after all this time and all their care, their captain had rumbled them. It must have been Archie - giggling, squealing Archie who could never keep entirely quiet at certain times.

"Do you know to what I refer, sir?"

"I am at a total loss, Captain Pellew." Guilty as hell, red as a beetroot, treading water desperately, sir.

"Mr Kennedy's examination for lieutenant. I understand from Mr Bracegirdle that you have been giving the man some coaching."

The lieutenant's relief was palpable. He could have shaken Pellew's hand, or cried, or something equally embarrassing - but he did not, because he was Horatio Hornblower and Mr Hornblower did not indulge in such excesses. "I have been endeavouring to give Acting Lieutenant Kennedy the benefit of my experience, sir."

"Then stop it; you are not only likely to be driving him mad but you are exasperating the rest of your fellow officers." Pellew smiled, not unkindly. "I know that you are the closest of friends and that you feel a certain responsibility towards him after your time in Spain, but he is quite capable of getting through this on his own merits; I would not have recommended him for examination if I did not think him likely to pass. First time."

The emphasis on the last two words was not lost on Horatio and he nodded. "Aye, aye sir."

Kennedy refused to spend the eve of his examination in fevered reading. "If I do not know it now Horatio, then not only will I never know it, but I would not deserve to pass for lieutenant. I intend to spend the evening relaxing and clearing my mind." Archie had actually been secretly revising - he had re-familiarised himself with both Norie and Clarke and was in reality very well prepared. But he was not going to admit that to his mate, especially when it was so much fun to play the nonchalant, dizzy sprig of nobility.

"Of course," Kennedy observed when they were alone, "if the rumours are correct as to which admiral will be on the board tomorrow, the best thing I can do is to shave very close and tie my breeches as tight as possible. I have perfected an expression to see me through the occasion." He produced the most amazing smile, the lower part of the face being totally cherubic while the eyes intimated very clearly "Bed? Now?"

It was all lies about the admiral of course, but Horatio didn't know that. He did know, however, the effect that face would have on anyone of a particular inclination. "You would not dare," he hissed.

"Would I not? Who knows to what lengths someone might go to get rid of these." He fingered the white flashes on his collar. "I wonder what you resorted to at your examination? I have often speculated as to what really happened on that little boat with Foster in Gibraltar - I have never been entirely satisfied with the explanation you gave. Saving the fleet at anchor, indeed - are you sure that there was no boarding involved?"

Hornblower huffed. "I hope that you get Charlie Hammond; he would soon wipe the smirk off your face."

Kennedy snorted. "He would naturally ask me if I knew a man called Horatio Hornblower and I would naturally reply that it has been my desperate misfortune to sail with you on many occasions. And, Captain Hammond, a more scurvy and disgusting officer it has never been my calamity to meet." He considered for a moment. "That would make it awkward if Foster were there, though. I was hoping to match or better whatever you had offered him that dark night in the Med - although, of course, that would probably make the admiral jealous and..." He was unable to finish as Hornblower stormed out of the cabin where they were sitting and made for the deck.

Archie knew that he had gone too far and raced after his mate, catching him by the arm at the lee-rail. "I am so sorry Horatio. Big idiot. Big mouth. Never know when to shut up. Bit worried about tomorrow and it just gets the better of me." He studied the sea for a moment then looked at his companion.

Hornblower appeared so distressed - he so very obviously wanted to be doing something to help his friend - that Archie in the end took pity on the man and let him help prepare his best midshipman's uniform for the morrow.

The jacket was relatively new, the one that had done duty in France and Spain having been ceremoniously cremated on the beach at Portsmouth the first time they had touched English soil after their return. Horatio pressed it, polishing the buttons, lovingly removing every speck of dirt or fluff. The breeches - and how well he knew every inch of this material - showed not a mark or crease after their joint ministrations.

Just like a loving wife or mother,

thought Archie, I bet he gives me a clean handkerchief tomorrow.

Horatio helped polish Kennedy's shoes until they could be used as a looking glass.

Archie could not resist using this as an opportunity for mischief, making little scuffs on the leather every time his friend's back was turned. "Think you might have missed a bit, Horatio," and the hapless lieutenant began to spit and polish again. And again. And "Oh, another tiny little mark," again.

The next day dawned fine and bright, the Isle of Wight shining like a pearl - rain coming then, muttered the hands. Hornblower took a final look at his lover, picking from his shoulder two microscopic but offensive pieces of fluff. He produced a snowy white handkerchief and stuffed it up Archie's sleeve.

"Do you have your certificates?"

An exasperated sigh. "Yes, Horatio. The one for good conduct, the one for sobriety - I had to forge that - and the one that you gave me."

Hornblower looked puzzled. "I do not recall giving you any papers, Archie."

A smirk. "The certificate that makes reference to my excellent performance in the matter of the double bed; I need it for the admiral."

Horatio did not dare speak another word until Kennedy had been despatched off in the boat.

Sir Edward Pellew knew his men very well. He could see that Hornblower was going to be unbearable this day, so he had arranged some business that would keep him on shore for a few hours. He watched him in the little boat heading for the quay, the young man's face immobile but etched with fear. Saints preserve us, he is just like an expectant father.

And like an expectant father, he paced. He had put Pellew's request in at the dockyard and was told to return in two hours - unable to concentrate on anything, he had begun to walk. From the George down to the sally port - along to the Ship Inn - back to the sally port - up the High Street to The George.

Hornblower could not get the thought of the admiral out of his brain. He knew that it was probably only one of Archie Kennedy's bloody silly jokes, but there were senior officers who had a distinct penchant for handsome young men. And if Archie smiled like he had last evening, any one of them who had red blood enough would be bound to make an advance - and how would the acting lieutenant be able to refuse? Horatio was grateful that he had never been approached by an admiral or the like; the only suitable and dutiful reply he could think of was "Aye aye, sir - it would be an honour, sir - over the cabin table, sir?" He paced again.

Even if the board consisted of men with a string of mistresses, there was still a risk; the possibility that Kennedy would freeze - panic - and fail, sent back to being a middie for another six months. That eventuality was genuinely disturbing - how could Hornblower lie with a man of lower rank? Irrespective of the fact that he had done such a thing in Spain, the prospect unsettled him now. He paced some more, until it was time to return to the dockyard, collect the goods and return to the Indefatigable.

He could hear the noise from the wardroom out on the deck. Hearty remarks, clinking of glasses and an instantly recognizable and much loved laugh in the middle of it. Descending the ladder, he cast a quick glance at Archie - the white flashes had disappeared.

"Mr Hornblower!" Bracegirdle's voice sailed above the hubbub. "He has passed, sir; passed and been made. Meet our new third lieutenant." He waved his hand in the direction of a very red faced Kennedy.

"Credit to the ship," laughed Mr Bowles. "Why, he even was invited to take a drink with the admiral - him out of all the candidates!"

Horatio blenched. "A drink with the admiral?" he managed to whisper.

"Of course, Mr Hornblower." Archie looked rather the worse for wear. "A very friendly gentleman and in remarkably good condition for his age. Do take a glass of wine, you look done in."

Horatio accepted and found the grace to toast his friend's success, but the thought of Archie alone with this admiral - with that smile, in those breeches - would not leave his mind. He began to look for telltale signs - wrinkled shirt, loose buttons?

Kennedy suddenly gave him a look that spoke volumes - love, pride, contrition. "The admiral must have been eighty if he was a day," he addressed the company at large, "and had known my grandfather. He wanted to know all the doings of the Kennedy brood." He turned to Hornblower, "and such stories he told - he has had three wives you know, Horatio and the latest hardly any older than us."

The Indefatigable's second lieutenant swallowed hard - such relief - favouring his friend with a smile and his own meaningful look; love, pride, forgiveness, more love.

"Gentlemen, please indulge me now that I find a rare moment of success," Kennedy rose to his feet, only slightly unsteady. "My triumph today has been in no small part due to my dear friend's help. I need not name him, for you will have all been aware over the past few months of his insistence on drumming some facts into the two foot of solid oak that my dear mother says I have for a brain. You will also recognise him by the fact that his face now resembles the sunset over Old Harry rocks." He raised his glass and the others did likewise.

Archie could not have made his meaning more clear to Hornblower, even if he had actually stood up and used the words "I am sorry for teasing you, sir. I am yours alone, Horatio and will ever be."

Hornblower smiled, sniffed (he felt the air was very smoky - he was sure it was beginning to irritate his eyes) and raised a glass in return. "Third lieutenant Kennedy, a complete and utter nuisance but the truest friend a man could have."