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Apr. 11th, 2007 04:51 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mylodonTitle: Retribution revisited
Pairing: H/A
Rating: PG
Notes: Set in Regeneration universe, which assumes that our lads get occasionally ‘borrowed’ by Harkness/The Doctor and end up spending time in the 21st century. This time they get to see the Hornblower films.
I don't own these characters but they are great fun to play with.
PS Normal pattern of posting will resume next week. Real life, you know.........
“You can’t take them to court for defamation of character. There is no logic to it.”
“They told lies about me – and you. It’s the most gross slander or libel – not sure what applies to that thing,” Horatio waved at the television.
“But you can’t appear as a witness. You’ll have been dead for what – one hundred and fifty years?”
“I’ll have a statement written and I’ll sign it in front of a commissioner for oaths. They’d have to accept that.”
“Horatio, if you would only calm down and think about this logically you’ll see that you have no way to take legal retribution.” Archie grinned. “That’s funny, isn’t it, given the name of one of them.” He tapped a box with a picture of Hornblower on the front. Only it wasn’t Hornblower but some bloke masquerading as him.
It was all Ianto’s fault, leaving the complete Hornblower DVD boxed set where certain people could get their paws on it. Certain people who were just slightly bored because their latest mission with Torchwood had finished and the TARDIS was playing up so they couldn’t get back to 1805. Certain people who had to find some way to entertain themselves while all the rest of the team were working day and night to repair the blue box.
They’d decided to watch these representations of Horatio’s adventures from the first sight of him in a shore boat heading for Justinian, to the moment he was seen marrying a girl called Maria, at which point the man in question had switched off the DVD in disgust at such a blatant distortion of the truth.
“If you think that’s bad,” Archie had said, “you should read the books about your career.” Kennedy had come across these during their original visit to the twenty-first century. “I only feature a handful of times and you have a habit of falling into bed with any convenient woman, be she doxy or duchess. I suppose that as you seem to be destined to achieve high rank and social status, they dared not relate that you and your second in command were rather too fond of breaking a certain one of the Articles as often as we could get away with it. Wouldn’t do to tell the whole truth.”
“Is this the chap Forester that gets referred to in regard to these?” Hornblower held up an assortment of DVD cases. “I suppose he had to uphold certain illusions in his role as official biographer. But it’s a travesty, especially as I’m made out to be such a curmudgeon.”
Kennedy grinned. “I do wonder if he had an inkling, though – about what was truly transpiring on our ships. Only he seems to have got it into his head that it was William who had a crush on you – depicts him as quite besotted at times. I wonder if The Doctor knows that and what he thinks about it?”
“Hm. While I’m not sure that I want all of our most intimate details aired in public, I’d rather that my name was linked to yours than with Mr Bush’s.” Horatio turned over the box for ‘The Frogs and the Lobster’, saw the picture on the front and grimaced. “Or hers.” He pointed to a pretty girl on the cover. “You don’t think that I kissed either her or any other girl like her in that benighted village?”
“No I don’t – I saw you coming down to the bridge with that poor old soldier and him getting shot. I suppose that the powers that be thought it wouldn’t make a very good story so they put in a pretty lass instead. Like the one you’re supposed to have married. Now I felt sorry for that girl – I wonder who she was based on?”
“I dread to think. And it’s such a shame when they depicted things so accurately in the second one of the series.” He picked up something called ‘The Examination for Lieutenant’.
“I’ll have to take your word for that. Although I can aver that you have a nicer bottom than the one they showed being showered on the deck of Renown. ” Archie looked carefully at the pictures on the covers of the DVDs, rather miffed that he didn’t seem to feature at all. “What do you think of this chap who plays you? There’s a more than passing resemblance.”
“I suppose so; he seems a bit stern at times.”
“Well that’s remarkably accurate – I think that he has your character down pat, Horatio. And that sawing thing you do with your hands; it’s as if he’d been there to see it. I do wonder if William somehow contributed some of the detail.”
Hornblower frowned, making himself look just like the lad in the films. “But you’re not handsome enough. I know that the actor who plays you is striking, but his hair is not fair enough, nor his smile sweet enough. The colour of the eyes is perfect, though.”
“Perhaps Jack could arrange for you to meet him and you could compare us?”
“No thank you; one Archie Kennedy is enough for anyone to have to cope with.”
“The rest of the cast isn’t bad though, is it? I mean, the chap who plays Sir Edward has all the degree of authority required and Kittie Cobham looks and talks exactly like that Cherie lady depicted her.”
“Got Edrington wrong though, didn’t they?”
Kennedy giggled. “Spectacularly so. Looks were never milord’s strong suit. Now if they’d swapped the actor who portrayed him with the one who played Styles they’d have had almost the image of the two actual men.”
Hornblower did not laugh, managing only a rueful smile. “Shame they were so horrible to you, though. I think I could cope with the lies they told about me, but you came off far the worse. You never panicked at that bridge – that was a downright libel – and it was your idea to use the tunnel to get into the Spanish fort.”
“They got the bit about Simpson right, though, didn’t they? Even though they probably felt that they couldn’t spell it out – all the clues were there for those who were watching. And the chap who played him had just the right degree of creepiness. I noticed you held my hand particularly tight at one bit while we were watching; I really do wonder how they knew that he used to say Jack’s missed you, boy.” Kennedy shivered and Horatio felt he had to hold the man’s hand again. And give him a kiss or two.
“But it was so unfair about the time in Ferrol; I know that we were not on best terms when we met again, but you were never as snivelly as they showed you in that little hospital bed.”
“Nor were you as keen to blame yourself. But they could never have shown what really transpired – that would really have shocked the viewing public, Horatio. Like if they somehow decided to depict what goes on here between Jack and Ianto. Imagine the blushes if they were to make a scene of you combing out my nits and giving me a bed bath and what ensued.”
“I suppose that they depicted your noble sacrifice quite well; you were the hero of that ‘Retribution’ film. Glad it never came to that in reality.”
“So am I – but it might have been like just like that, had William not summoned up that TARDIS and saved the day. As it turned out Forester had a better stab at what happened in Kingston – although he was wrong about that two day debauch you and Bush allegedly had. As I recall…”
“Oh hush.” Hornblower smiled tenderly at the remembrance of wonderful warm days and nights. “Anyway even if they had been bold enough to show the reality of events, those two young actors would have been appalled at what they’d be asked to depict.”
Kennedy smiled thoughtfully. “Do you think so? I got the distinct impression, the more of those things I watched, that they knew exactly what was going on back then. Those looks and touches between them – the way that the one who plays you said Aaaaaaaaaaarchie.”
“You may have a point. Certainly the way that you were supposed to be looking at my new uniform would have had us run up the yardarm before you’d finished eyeing up my backside.”
“Try as the official line might to hide the true story, Horatio, somehow it shines through one way or another. Can’t hide true love.”
“Indeed.”
Pairing: H/A
Rating: PG
Notes: Set in Regeneration universe, which assumes that our lads get occasionally ‘borrowed’ by Harkness/The Doctor and end up spending time in the 21st century. This time they get to see the Hornblower films.
I don't own these characters but they are great fun to play with.
PS Normal pattern of posting will resume next week. Real life, you know.........
“You can’t take them to court for defamation of character. There is no logic to it.”
“They told lies about me – and you. It’s the most gross slander or libel – not sure what applies to that thing,” Horatio waved at the television.
“But you can’t appear as a witness. You’ll have been dead for what – one hundred and fifty years?”
“I’ll have a statement written and I’ll sign it in front of a commissioner for oaths. They’d have to accept that.”
“Horatio, if you would only calm down and think about this logically you’ll see that you have no way to take legal retribution.” Archie grinned. “That’s funny, isn’t it, given the name of one of them.” He tapped a box with a picture of Hornblower on the front. Only it wasn’t Hornblower but some bloke masquerading as him.
It was all Ianto’s fault, leaving the complete Hornblower DVD boxed set where certain people could get their paws on it. Certain people who were just slightly bored because their latest mission with Torchwood had finished and the TARDIS was playing up so they couldn’t get back to 1805. Certain people who had to find some way to entertain themselves while all the rest of the team were working day and night to repair the blue box.
They’d decided to watch these representations of Horatio’s adventures from the first sight of him in a shore boat heading for Justinian, to the moment he was seen marrying a girl called Maria, at which point the man in question had switched off the DVD in disgust at such a blatant distortion of the truth.
“If you think that’s bad,” Archie had said, “you should read the books about your career.” Kennedy had come across these during their original visit to the twenty-first century. “I only feature a handful of times and you have a habit of falling into bed with any convenient woman, be she doxy or duchess. I suppose that as you seem to be destined to achieve high rank and social status, they dared not relate that you and your second in command were rather too fond of breaking a certain one of the Articles as often as we could get away with it. Wouldn’t do to tell the whole truth.”
“Is this the chap Forester that gets referred to in regard to these?” Hornblower held up an assortment of DVD cases. “I suppose he had to uphold certain illusions in his role as official biographer. But it’s a travesty, especially as I’m made out to be such a curmudgeon.”
Kennedy grinned. “I do wonder if he had an inkling, though – about what was truly transpiring on our ships. Only he seems to have got it into his head that it was William who had a crush on you – depicts him as quite besotted at times. I wonder if The Doctor knows that and what he thinks about it?”
“Hm. While I’m not sure that I want all of our most intimate details aired in public, I’d rather that my name was linked to yours than with Mr Bush’s.” Horatio turned over the box for ‘The Frogs and the Lobster’, saw the picture on the front and grimaced. “Or hers.” He pointed to a pretty girl on the cover. “You don’t think that I kissed either her or any other girl like her in that benighted village?”
“No I don’t – I saw you coming down to the bridge with that poor old soldier and him getting shot. I suppose that the powers that be thought it wouldn’t make a very good story so they put in a pretty lass instead. Like the one you’re supposed to have married. Now I felt sorry for that girl – I wonder who she was based on?”
“I dread to think. And it’s such a shame when they depicted things so accurately in the second one of the series.” He picked up something called ‘The Examination for Lieutenant’.
“I’ll have to take your word for that. Although I can aver that you have a nicer bottom than the one they showed being showered on the deck of Renown. ” Archie looked carefully at the pictures on the covers of the DVDs, rather miffed that he didn’t seem to feature at all. “What do you think of this chap who plays you? There’s a more than passing resemblance.”
“I suppose so; he seems a bit stern at times.”
“Well that’s remarkably accurate – I think that he has your character down pat, Horatio. And that sawing thing you do with your hands; it’s as if he’d been there to see it. I do wonder if William somehow contributed some of the detail.”
Hornblower frowned, making himself look just like the lad in the films. “But you’re not handsome enough. I know that the actor who plays you is striking, but his hair is not fair enough, nor his smile sweet enough. The colour of the eyes is perfect, though.”
“Perhaps Jack could arrange for you to meet him and you could compare us?”
“No thank you; one Archie Kennedy is enough for anyone to have to cope with.”
“The rest of the cast isn’t bad though, is it? I mean, the chap who plays Sir Edward has all the degree of authority required and Kittie Cobham looks and talks exactly like that Cherie lady depicted her.”
“Got Edrington wrong though, didn’t they?”
Kennedy giggled. “Spectacularly so. Looks were never milord’s strong suit. Now if they’d swapped the actor who portrayed him with the one who played Styles they’d have had almost the image of the two actual men.”
Hornblower did not laugh, managing only a rueful smile. “Shame they were so horrible to you, though. I think I could cope with the lies they told about me, but you came off far the worse. You never panicked at that bridge – that was a downright libel – and it was your idea to use the tunnel to get into the Spanish fort.”
“They got the bit about Simpson right, though, didn’t they? Even though they probably felt that they couldn’t spell it out – all the clues were there for those who were watching. And the chap who played him had just the right degree of creepiness. I noticed you held my hand particularly tight at one bit while we were watching; I really do wonder how they knew that he used to say Jack’s missed you, boy.” Kennedy shivered and Horatio felt he had to hold the man’s hand again. And give him a kiss or two.
“But it was so unfair about the time in Ferrol; I know that we were not on best terms when we met again, but you were never as snivelly as they showed you in that little hospital bed.”
“Nor were you as keen to blame yourself. But they could never have shown what really transpired – that would really have shocked the viewing public, Horatio. Like if they somehow decided to depict what goes on here between Jack and Ianto. Imagine the blushes if they were to make a scene of you combing out my nits and giving me a bed bath and what ensued.”
“I suppose that they depicted your noble sacrifice quite well; you were the hero of that ‘Retribution’ film. Glad it never came to that in reality.”
“So am I – but it might have been like just like that, had William not summoned up that TARDIS and saved the day. As it turned out Forester had a better stab at what happened in Kingston – although he was wrong about that two day debauch you and Bush allegedly had. As I recall…”
“Oh hush.” Hornblower smiled tenderly at the remembrance of wonderful warm days and nights. “Anyway even if they had been bold enough to show the reality of events, those two young actors would have been appalled at what they’d be asked to depict.”
Kennedy smiled thoughtfully. “Do you think so? I got the distinct impression, the more of those things I watched, that they knew exactly what was going on back then. Those looks and touches between them – the way that the one who plays you said Aaaaaaaaaaarchie.”
“You may have a point. Certainly the way that you were supposed to be looking at my new uniform would have had us run up the yardarm before you’d finished eyeing up my backside.”
“Try as the official line might to hide the true story, Horatio, somehow it shines through one way or another. Can’t hide true love.”
“Indeed.”
