LKU Part 25 - Freedom
Sep. 13th, 2007 11:29 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mylodonPairings: Archie/Horatio, Tom/Eddie
Rating: PG
Notes: We last left the lads being rescued from captivity; I promised I would tie up the loose ends from there and will do so this week and next.
Most of these characters belong to other people, but Tom and Eddie are all mine.
The rooms were of excellent quality - adjacent and interconnecting, suitable for a man and his servant should that lucky person be treated with a high degree of respect. Or perhaps an official with his personal and confidential secretary. Or a married couple who no longer shared a bed. Or two lovers who often shared a bed but dared not admit it to the world at large.
Those who had been most closely involved in the kidnap and rescue had been given leave by Sir Edward to spend some time ashore (with a small and discreet company of marines to be in the offing and keeping a weather eye on them). They had all taken a meal together - comrades in adversity making a rite of passage to mark their renewed freedom - and then the two captains had unobtrusively slipped away, Kennedy to his bed, pleading a headache and Hornblower ostensibly to get some fresh air as it was a commodity he had been short of these last few days. Of those present, only Pearce believed them, but then he was in some ways a very naive man and had no idea that there could be a relationship of any significance between a commander and a post captain. Especially not between two such virile and successful ones. In his squadron.
"Poor Mr Marshall looked like he'd lost a guinea and found a groat. I've never seen a man look less pleased to be free." Kennedy was in his shirt and breeches, his bare feet stretched out as he sat in his chair in front of where the fire might have been lit had this been England and not India. Time was when they'd have hardly been through the door and they'd have been in each other's arms, if not in the bed, especially after such an adventure, when they had each sometimes thought other lost. But now they were more mature and somehow the slow build up made the whole experience even more pleasurable. "Young Rogerson and his friend with the ginger hair - whom Pearce assures me fought like the very devil to release you - were trying hard to get him to carouse but he seemed reluctant to join in." Kennedy fixed his friend with a particularly sharp gaze. "What happened?"
Hornblower was standing, untying his stock. "It is my intention that Mr Marshall is to be exchanged for one of the masters out of the merchant fleet. I will make enquiry as soon as I can about which is the man most competent to take his place."
Archie's eyebrows shot up - there were strange goings on afoot here but Horatio obviously was playing things close to his chest. He decided to chance his arm. "If you don't want Marshall any more then I'll have him on Cassandra like a shot."
"You will not - he leaves the squadron entirely, Archie." Horatio sat down on the chair adjacent to his friend's. There was a bottle on the table and he poured them both a glass of an almost acceptable port.
"But why? He's the best master I've ever sailed with - what has he done to offend you so?" Kennedy took his wine, sipped it, and tried to savour what bouquet had been left after the depredations of the tropical weather.
"He knows, Archie. About us." Hornblower studied his hands.
"So does Pellew. Giving him the boot, too, are we Horatio?" Kennedy grinned, waiting for the inevitable incredulous reaction. He had professed this theory to Hornblower on many an occasion but the man would not or could not believe in it.
"Archie - one day you'll say something like that in the wrong place and I won't be there to save you." Hornblower put up the usual defensive wall in the face of what he regarded as errant slander.
"Horatio Hornblower, you are the most arrogant man I have ever met - if I did not love you beyond all reason I would call you out. I would never speak out of turn - grant me some sense - and if I did I would be able to recover the situation myself. I'm not the young middie who needed to be forced to take water and porridge to survive, thank you."
Hornblower passed his hand over his eyes - he felt tired and confused and he too had overstepped the line. "I'm sorry - that wasn't called for."
Kennedy grinned again. "I love it when you're repentant - worth every insult just to see you squirm. Anyway, Marshall knows; why does that justify his dismissal?"
"Because he told me he knew. Or as good as. When we were captive." Hornblower explained the tale of what had gone on in their little cell - not the planning or frustration or commonplace details, but the disastrous conversations that he and Marshall had shared, one man keen to show how much he empathised, the other horrified that his deepest secret was being discussed so carelessly.
Archie listened to it all with patience, seeking clarification here and there but mainly letting Horatio get all of his spleen vented and then simply saying, "He was wrong, Horatio, you are correct."
"I knew that you'd agree. It's dangerous having a man like that on board."
Kennedy looked at his lover keenly. "Really? Let's consider, Mr Hornblower. I said that Mr Marshall was unwise to say what he did, but I can understand what his motivation was. He loves Priam and all that ridiculous crop of midshipmen you have on her and he'd include young Rogerson as one of them. He'd have been motivated in part by wanting to find the best outcome for them and as an element of that he'd want his captain's mind fully focussed, not wondering about his boyfriend out at sea."
"Archie!"
"No-one can hear us Horatio, let's talk plainly. We should adopt it as a practice now, anyway - we'll see little enough of each other and we'll have no time for dissimulation. He wanted to keep your mind clearly on the matter in hand and his private feelings clouded his professional judgement." He gently clasped Hornblower's hand. "It was the same for all of us."
Horatio shook his head. "I can't believe it was. Surely the admiral..."
"Sir Edward was as much at a loss as we all were. As was I, once I found Batteur was dead. It took Aubrey to make me see straight - he was the only one who did not have a personal interest to muddle his thinking. And I would hasten to add that I'd venture that he has no idea at all of the nature of our particular friendship."
"Was it his plan to bring Priam in under French colours?"
"It was, with Tom Pullings adding his valuable two penn'orth. They pointed out that the enemy had all the bargaining tools and we had none, the lives of Batteur's crew being likely to be thought worthless to those on land. Why not make them think that they held all the cards and then make an attempt at rescue while their guard was down? And he seemed to have personal experience of this sort of thing - gave us some valuable advice, including the proviso that we had to be successful - failure was not an option."
Hornblower sat back, contemplated his drink. "And taking all that into account, I still say that Marshall betrayed his position."
Kennedy leaned forwards, held his lover's eye. "Horatio, you have no idea how loyal your ship's master has been. Do you remember that scrub Clovis, back in the med?"
"Of course."
"He was blackmailing us. He knew, too - and made it plain to me what he'd do if I didn't get back those papers for him, the ones Augusta gave to me. Exposure, disgrace, he'd have told all." Kennedy's handsome face clouded over at the recollection of those times, when he had passed a hell of days, carrying the entire burden - or so he thought - of the dilemma.
Hornblower paled, searched his lover's face for affirmation that this was the absolute truth; he seemed to find it in Kennedy's clear eye and unusually grave manner. "Archie, I had no idea."
"Of course you didn't, your first lieutenant dealt with it all. I threatened him in return with being turned in as an espionage agent, but in the end it did not need to be done."
"A case of the fates conspiring in our favour? He was killed in action before the moment of truth, I presume."
"Apparently so." Archie proffered his glass for a refill. They had been fairly abstemious at the table, not wanting to spoil the events to come with alcoholic excess, nor to risk any indiscretion while in their cups. Even after all the years there was a place for prudence. Another glass in the privacy of their own room would not matter. "But I heard an interesting tale told to me in total confidence while I had Priam for you; someone had seen Clovis die and it was not a French blade that killed him."
Horatio's eyes widened. This was a night for revelations indeed. "Then how...?"
"He was killed by one of his shipmates. It was Marshall's little dirk that did the deed."
"Dear God. Who told you?"
"That little lascar who was in Rogerson's division. He was mortally wounded in the engagement with the corvettes - desperate bad luck with a huge splinter - and he wanted someone to know his secret before he died. As far as he knew only he and Marshall were aware of the truth."
Hornblower stared long and hard at his hands. Not for the first time in their long and generally harmonious relationship, Archie Kennedy had said something that threw all his notions into disarray. He could not yet work out whether this new information was to Marshall's ultimate advantage - the man was now said to be a murderer, let alone anything else, even if his victim was a practitioner of one of the most vile arts. Now Horatio would have to decide whether he would make use of these facts - either to tell the Admiral about the foul play or to change his own plans and let Marshall stay with one of the fighting ships.
"Archie, I ask you this both as a friend and as a fellow captain. Do you approve of what Mr Marshall did; in killing Clovis, I mean."
Kennedy closed his eyes, as if trying to picture again the scene on Priam when he had been cornered in his cabin and given a series of ultimata. Clovis had been unpopular within the service and with the Kennedy family, for one of whom he had been a persistent suitor. He had made the most vile threats upon Archie's honour and on his captains'; he had been countered with Kennedy's own pressure but the matter had not come to resolution, the man's apparent death in action having closed the book on it all. "I do not know if Clovis deserved to die any more than another man; my instinct is that he made his life forfeit when he threatened me - it was almost as if he called me out. The fact that it was, if you like, my second who carried out the deed might still make it technically correct."
Horatio frowned. "I have not heard you speak like this Archie, all strange logic and application of the letter of the law. You normally talk to me entirely from your heart - why can't you now?"
"Because I cannot either justify or condemn Marshall's actions, not in my conscience. I think that the man was wrong to take events into his own hands, but I would be a hypocrite to say that I am not entirely grateful that he did. And I would add that I gave the example not to justify the man, nor to provide a reason to keep him - a sort of tit for tat to pay off his indiscretion. I merely wanted you to know what an enormous amount of loyalty lies in that stout heart of his. He would do anything to protect his ship and his officers." Archie twirled his glass in his hand. "I do wonder what has happened in his past that he's not got a ship of the line in his care."
Hornblower shrugged. "He is certainly a man of great capabilities. And I accept the point you make about his loyalty. But I can't have him on Priam any more."
"Then let me have him. It would mean a demotion, but I'd warrant that he'd rather that than be out of the squadron entirely. We can get Sir Edward to work it, should we drop a subtle hint or two. It would not take much for him to understand the situation entirely." Kennedy reached across and took his lover's hand. Time was beginning to ebb away and at this rate they would talk like an old married couple until one or other fell asleep. That was not what was needed at all.
"The entire situation - must Sir Edward be told everything?"
"Oh Horatio do shut up now. We can talk again in the morning. One problem is resolved - don't go looking for another to solve just yet. Do you know how long it is since we lay together?"
Hornblower smiled. "Only that it's too long. You are correct as usual, oh Admiral of my fleet."
"If it were my fleet I'd have you flogged round it for idiocy. Well, obey your commanding officer's orders and kiss me. Then take me to your bed. You can make up the rest when we're there. But do be quiet."
***
Eddie Cattermole was fast asleep and snoring but Thomas Rogerson didn't mind. Not for them the luxury of a shared suite, but the hazardous nip down the corridor when they were sure that no-one was looking. Tom had been the one to risk it this time. They might have got away with sharing, still being very junior lieutenants, but for some reason Eddie had become a bit wary - something to do with Mr Pearce being in the offing and not wanting to risk his eagle eye.
Rogerson's bed was of ample size and Eddie's scrawny frame barely seemed to make inroads into it when he was on his side. When he was sprawled and snoring he seemed to triple in size and volume. Tom was content to lie and watch him, keeping an eye on the sky outside and an ear for the sounds in the inn so that he could make his dash for freedom at the last possible moment which allowed for propriety to be observed. He knew now that what he felt for Eddie was true love and the time incarcerated had only made him more anxious to be able to be reunited and tell the man so.
Too often he and Eddie had carried their public association - all cuffing and joshing and insults - into their bedroom as well, ugly face and idiot chops substituting for real words of affection, as if each was afraid to appear idiotic in front of the other. Last night had been different - Rogerson had come to Cattermole's door, been readily admitted but then, instead of falling into his arms, which were wide and inviting, had clasped the man's hands and looked steadily into his face.
No jests tonight, Eddie. There were plenty of them on the way down to the harbour from that wretched place we were kept prisoner and you've been on top form with them again tonight. Tomorrow and any other day you may tease me to your heart's content, but I beg you, do not make fun of me between now and the morning - I have not the heart to take it.
Cattermole had gently taken Tom's hands to his lips and laid a simple kiss on each of the palms. "Tonight there will be no teasing, Tom - but you must understand that as a strategy it merely allows me to talk to you with an intimacy in public that I could not find otherwise. I'm afraid every so often that I'll blurt out my love for you in front of Admiral Pellew and all the captains of the fleet, so instead I find it safer to taunt and make mock. You do know that I don't mean any of it, don't you?"
"I do that, Eddie; I've always known. But I just wish to hear only sweet phrases tonight - I was so frightened in that cell and now all I want is tender words and strong arms around me." Rogerson had begun to cry and Cattermole's eyes had welled in response. He had drawn Tom close and let his tears soak his waistcoat, smoothing the black curls against his shoulder and murmuring only the most kind-hearted of imprecations until Rogerson had sobbed out all his fears and frustrations at captivity.
Eddie had sworn his love and devotion time and again, reassuring Tom that there had never been or would ever be another to share his heart; and he had been serious and sensible to the point that Rogerson had begun to regret asking him. Cattermole could not do things by half and he had turned from clown to sexton without the batting of an eyelid. At the fourteenth time of being told how Eddie had longed all his life to have someone who would return his love, Tom had pulled out of their embrace, cuffed the man, sworn that if he was ever so idiotic as to ask Cattermole to be serious again then he should be mast headed for an entire week, and pleaded for him to just shut up now and kiss him.
A huge grin had split Eddie's face - he wasn't daft and he'd learned a lot about guile, serving with both Pearce and Pellew - and he'd set to kissing Rogerson as if his very life depended on it. They'd made love in their silly, boyish fashion, believing that what they did was the height of sophistication and naughtiness and had fallen asleep ridiculously happy, whispering jokes of the most appalling kind and giggling like girls.
And now that Tom was awake and knew that they soon had to part they had become genuinely serious, recognising that every night together was a gift and not to be wasted, vowing never to sleep apart if ever the opportunity came to be together. They had exchanged buttons long ago and now they exchanged stocks, Eddie being unable to resist a remark or two about the state of Tom's clothes and Rogerson giving as good as he got. They parted on an insult and all was right with the world.
***
"And do you really think Pellew knows?" Hornblower held his lover close. It was pleasant just to lie and enjoy the intimacy of contact. There was no need for further excitement now - it sufficed to be alone and in love.
"He practically told me so, Horatio. When he first sent me off in Priam. He knew exactly what was at stake for me - for us." Archie snuggled his head onto his lover's chest, something he had dreamed about for days and that now felt as wondrous as when he had only wanted it.
"I can't believe he could be so indiscreet."
"He wasn't. Anyone else could have listened to what was said and would have not understood anything untoward." He tapped Horatio's chest. "And I can't believe how you could still insist that he's in ignorance. After the you have five minutes, gentlemen thing. Did you think he meant us just to shake hands and cuff each other's shoulders in a manly way?"
Horatio shook his head. "No. Indeed. Perhaps I was just deluding myself."
"He knows and he has done nothing about it save encourage us and give us time together. He is a man without parallel in the fleet, Horatio and I thank God every day that we have served under him and not many another man."
"You seem to be constantly thanking God for things." Hornblower laughed and stretched, like a self satisfied cat. He still felt the cramp of his captivity and being able to sleep in a bed, with arms and legs free, and with a glorious creature at one's side was luxury indeed.
"And why shouldn't I? I'm alive, when I should have died two, three... oh, Horatio, I've lost count of the times. And I have you and a swab on my shoulder and enough money to keep me happy and no wife at home to pine for me or for me to long to be with. Count my blessings constantly." He lay back and watched the day waxing outside, knowing that it was soon to be time for them to part again, hopefully only temporarily.
"You are my greatest blessing. I used to think it was my post captain's rank or my chance of making Admiral at a relatively young age. But now I know it's you."
"I realised that you were mine back in Spain. When you came out of that wretched hole all in one piece."
"I felt like I relived it all when I was back in that room with Rogerson and Marshall. I even woke in the night and thought I was in the oubliette - I was looking for rats and..." His voice tailed off. he had not wanted to tell Archie any of this, to bring back his own memories of incarceration, two years of hopeless captivity including a month of hell. Horatio's experiences at Ferrol and here had been nothing in comparison. But he would not dwell on this, let alone mention it.
"It's fine Horatio, truly. Please don't harp on the past - it's only the future we can change."
Hornblower nodded, unable to speak. It was the first time he had admitted to having nightmares about the time in the oubliette, but he would never tell Kennedy that he also dreamed of his lover's time spent there, torturing himself in sleep - because it was too painful to even contemplate with his waking mind - for his own culpability in sending the man there.
"Come on, there's not long before we have to be away and who knows when we'll be together again in a bed. If we've learned anything these last few years it's not to look back. I refuse to remember you despondent. Smile for me and kiss me again; let me tie your hair and set your stock."
Horatio did smile - he let Kennedy do all that he wished, returning the compliment as he helped him into his coat and picked non-existent pieces of dust from it. They kissed once more and went in search of breakfast, over which they smiled and nattered as if they had been married for the last ten years. Which, naturally, was what they were, in all but the matter of marriage lines.
Rating: PG
Notes: We last left the lads being rescued from captivity; I promised I would tie up the loose ends from there and will do so this week and next.
Most of these characters belong to other people, but Tom and Eddie are all mine.
The rooms were of excellent quality - adjacent and interconnecting, suitable for a man and his servant should that lucky person be treated with a high degree of respect. Or perhaps an official with his personal and confidential secretary. Or a married couple who no longer shared a bed. Or two lovers who often shared a bed but dared not admit it to the world at large.
Those who had been most closely involved in the kidnap and rescue had been given leave by Sir Edward to spend some time ashore (with a small and discreet company of marines to be in the offing and keeping a weather eye on them). They had all taken a meal together - comrades in adversity making a rite of passage to mark their renewed freedom - and then the two captains had unobtrusively slipped away, Kennedy to his bed, pleading a headache and Hornblower ostensibly to get some fresh air as it was a commodity he had been short of these last few days. Of those present, only Pearce believed them, but then he was in some ways a very naive man and had no idea that there could be a relationship of any significance between a commander and a post captain. Especially not between two such virile and successful ones. In his squadron.
"Poor Mr Marshall looked like he'd lost a guinea and found a groat. I've never seen a man look less pleased to be free." Kennedy was in his shirt and breeches, his bare feet stretched out as he sat in his chair in front of where the fire might have been lit had this been England and not India. Time was when they'd have hardly been through the door and they'd have been in each other's arms, if not in the bed, especially after such an adventure, when they had each sometimes thought other lost. But now they were more mature and somehow the slow build up made the whole experience even more pleasurable. "Young Rogerson and his friend with the ginger hair - whom Pearce assures me fought like the very devil to release you - were trying hard to get him to carouse but he seemed reluctant to join in." Kennedy fixed his friend with a particularly sharp gaze. "What happened?"
Hornblower was standing, untying his stock. "It is my intention that Mr Marshall is to be exchanged for one of the masters out of the merchant fleet. I will make enquiry as soon as I can about which is the man most competent to take his place."
Archie's eyebrows shot up - there were strange goings on afoot here but Horatio obviously was playing things close to his chest. He decided to chance his arm. "If you don't want Marshall any more then I'll have him on Cassandra like a shot."
"You will not - he leaves the squadron entirely, Archie." Horatio sat down on the chair adjacent to his friend's. There was a bottle on the table and he poured them both a glass of an almost acceptable port.
"But why? He's the best master I've ever sailed with - what has he done to offend you so?" Kennedy took his wine, sipped it, and tried to savour what bouquet had been left after the depredations of the tropical weather.
"He knows, Archie. About us." Hornblower studied his hands.
"So does Pellew. Giving him the boot, too, are we Horatio?" Kennedy grinned, waiting for the inevitable incredulous reaction. He had professed this theory to Hornblower on many an occasion but the man would not or could not believe in it.
"Archie - one day you'll say something like that in the wrong place and I won't be there to save you." Hornblower put up the usual defensive wall in the face of what he regarded as errant slander.
"Horatio Hornblower, you are the most arrogant man I have ever met - if I did not love you beyond all reason I would call you out. I would never speak out of turn - grant me some sense - and if I did I would be able to recover the situation myself. I'm not the young middie who needed to be forced to take water and porridge to survive, thank you."
Hornblower passed his hand over his eyes - he felt tired and confused and he too had overstepped the line. "I'm sorry - that wasn't called for."
Kennedy grinned again. "I love it when you're repentant - worth every insult just to see you squirm. Anyway, Marshall knows; why does that justify his dismissal?"
"Because he told me he knew. Or as good as. When we were captive." Hornblower explained the tale of what had gone on in their little cell - not the planning or frustration or commonplace details, but the disastrous conversations that he and Marshall had shared, one man keen to show how much he empathised, the other horrified that his deepest secret was being discussed so carelessly.
Archie listened to it all with patience, seeking clarification here and there but mainly letting Horatio get all of his spleen vented and then simply saying, "He was wrong, Horatio, you are correct."
"I knew that you'd agree. It's dangerous having a man like that on board."
Kennedy looked at his lover keenly. "Really? Let's consider, Mr Hornblower. I said that Mr Marshall was unwise to say what he did, but I can understand what his motivation was. He loves Priam and all that ridiculous crop of midshipmen you have on her and he'd include young Rogerson as one of them. He'd have been motivated in part by wanting to find the best outcome for them and as an element of that he'd want his captain's mind fully focussed, not wondering about his boyfriend out at sea."
"Archie!"
"No-one can hear us Horatio, let's talk plainly. We should adopt it as a practice now, anyway - we'll see little enough of each other and we'll have no time for dissimulation. He wanted to keep your mind clearly on the matter in hand and his private feelings clouded his professional judgement." He gently clasped Hornblower's hand. "It was the same for all of us."
Horatio shook his head. "I can't believe it was. Surely the admiral..."
"Sir Edward was as much at a loss as we all were. As was I, once I found Batteur was dead. It took Aubrey to make me see straight - he was the only one who did not have a personal interest to muddle his thinking. And I would hasten to add that I'd venture that he has no idea at all of the nature of our particular friendship."
"Was it his plan to bring Priam in under French colours?"
"It was, with Tom Pullings adding his valuable two penn'orth. They pointed out that the enemy had all the bargaining tools and we had none, the lives of Batteur's crew being likely to be thought worthless to those on land. Why not make them think that they held all the cards and then make an attempt at rescue while their guard was down? And he seemed to have personal experience of this sort of thing - gave us some valuable advice, including the proviso that we had to be successful - failure was not an option."
Hornblower sat back, contemplated his drink. "And taking all that into account, I still say that Marshall betrayed his position."
Kennedy leaned forwards, held his lover's eye. "Horatio, you have no idea how loyal your ship's master has been. Do you remember that scrub Clovis, back in the med?"
"Of course."
"He was blackmailing us. He knew, too - and made it plain to me what he'd do if I didn't get back those papers for him, the ones Augusta gave to me. Exposure, disgrace, he'd have told all." Kennedy's handsome face clouded over at the recollection of those times, when he had passed a hell of days, carrying the entire burden - or so he thought - of the dilemma.
Hornblower paled, searched his lover's face for affirmation that this was the absolute truth; he seemed to find it in Kennedy's clear eye and unusually grave manner. "Archie, I had no idea."
"Of course you didn't, your first lieutenant dealt with it all. I threatened him in return with being turned in as an espionage agent, but in the end it did not need to be done."
"A case of the fates conspiring in our favour? He was killed in action before the moment of truth, I presume."
"Apparently so." Archie proffered his glass for a refill. They had been fairly abstemious at the table, not wanting to spoil the events to come with alcoholic excess, nor to risk any indiscretion while in their cups. Even after all the years there was a place for prudence. Another glass in the privacy of their own room would not matter. "But I heard an interesting tale told to me in total confidence while I had Priam for you; someone had seen Clovis die and it was not a French blade that killed him."
Horatio's eyes widened. This was a night for revelations indeed. "Then how...?"
"He was killed by one of his shipmates. It was Marshall's little dirk that did the deed."
"Dear God. Who told you?"
"That little lascar who was in Rogerson's division. He was mortally wounded in the engagement with the corvettes - desperate bad luck with a huge splinter - and he wanted someone to know his secret before he died. As far as he knew only he and Marshall were aware of the truth."
Hornblower stared long and hard at his hands. Not for the first time in their long and generally harmonious relationship, Archie Kennedy had said something that threw all his notions into disarray. He could not yet work out whether this new information was to Marshall's ultimate advantage - the man was now said to be a murderer, let alone anything else, even if his victim was a practitioner of one of the most vile arts. Now Horatio would have to decide whether he would make use of these facts - either to tell the Admiral about the foul play or to change his own plans and let Marshall stay with one of the fighting ships.
"Archie, I ask you this both as a friend and as a fellow captain. Do you approve of what Mr Marshall did; in killing Clovis, I mean."
Kennedy closed his eyes, as if trying to picture again the scene on Priam when he had been cornered in his cabin and given a series of ultimata. Clovis had been unpopular within the service and with the Kennedy family, for one of whom he had been a persistent suitor. He had made the most vile threats upon Archie's honour and on his captains'; he had been countered with Kennedy's own pressure but the matter had not come to resolution, the man's apparent death in action having closed the book on it all. "I do not know if Clovis deserved to die any more than another man; my instinct is that he made his life forfeit when he threatened me - it was almost as if he called me out. The fact that it was, if you like, my second who carried out the deed might still make it technically correct."
Horatio frowned. "I have not heard you speak like this Archie, all strange logic and application of the letter of the law. You normally talk to me entirely from your heart - why can't you now?"
"Because I cannot either justify or condemn Marshall's actions, not in my conscience. I think that the man was wrong to take events into his own hands, but I would be a hypocrite to say that I am not entirely grateful that he did. And I would add that I gave the example not to justify the man, nor to provide a reason to keep him - a sort of tit for tat to pay off his indiscretion. I merely wanted you to know what an enormous amount of loyalty lies in that stout heart of his. He would do anything to protect his ship and his officers." Archie twirled his glass in his hand. "I do wonder what has happened in his past that he's not got a ship of the line in his care."
Hornblower shrugged. "He is certainly a man of great capabilities. And I accept the point you make about his loyalty. But I can't have him on Priam any more."
"Then let me have him. It would mean a demotion, but I'd warrant that he'd rather that than be out of the squadron entirely. We can get Sir Edward to work it, should we drop a subtle hint or two. It would not take much for him to understand the situation entirely." Kennedy reached across and took his lover's hand. Time was beginning to ebb away and at this rate they would talk like an old married couple until one or other fell asleep. That was not what was needed at all.
"The entire situation - must Sir Edward be told everything?"
"Oh Horatio do shut up now. We can talk again in the morning. One problem is resolved - don't go looking for another to solve just yet. Do you know how long it is since we lay together?"
Hornblower smiled. "Only that it's too long. You are correct as usual, oh Admiral of my fleet."
"If it were my fleet I'd have you flogged round it for idiocy. Well, obey your commanding officer's orders and kiss me. Then take me to your bed. You can make up the rest when we're there. But do be quiet."
***
Eddie Cattermole was fast asleep and snoring but Thomas Rogerson didn't mind. Not for them the luxury of a shared suite, but the hazardous nip down the corridor when they were sure that no-one was looking. Tom had been the one to risk it this time. They might have got away with sharing, still being very junior lieutenants, but for some reason Eddie had become a bit wary - something to do with Mr Pearce being in the offing and not wanting to risk his eagle eye.
Rogerson's bed was of ample size and Eddie's scrawny frame barely seemed to make inroads into it when he was on his side. When he was sprawled and snoring he seemed to triple in size and volume. Tom was content to lie and watch him, keeping an eye on the sky outside and an ear for the sounds in the inn so that he could make his dash for freedom at the last possible moment which allowed for propriety to be observed. He knew now that what he felt for Eddie was true love and the time incarcerated had only made him more anxious to be able to be reunited and tell the man so.
Too often he and Eddie had carried their public association - all cuffing and joshing and insults - into their bedroom as well, ugly face and idiot chops substituting for real words of affection, as if each was afraid to appear idiotic in front of the other. Last night had been different - Rogerson had come to Cattermole's door, been readily admitted but then, instead of falling into his arms, which were wide and inviting, had clasped the man's hands and looked steadily into his face.
No jests tonight, Eddie. There were plenty of them on the way down to the harbour from that wretched place we were kept prisoner and you've been on top form with them again tonight. Tomorrow and any other day you may tease me to your heart's content, but I beg you, do not make fun of me between now and the morning - I have not the heart to take it.
Cattermole had gently taken Tom's hands to his lips and laid a simple kiss on each of the palms. "Tonight there will be no teasing, Tom - but you must understand that as a strategy it merely allows me to talk to you with an intimacy in public that I could not find otherwise. I'm afraid every so often that I'll blurt out my love for you in front of Admiral Pellew and all the captains of the fleet, so instead I find it safer to taunt and make mock. You do know that I don't mean any of it, don't you?"
"I do that, Eddie; I've always known. But I just wish to hear only sweet phrases tonight - I was so frightened in that cell and now all I want is tender words and strong arms around me." Rogerson had begun to cry and Cattermole's eyes had welled in response. He had drawn Tom close and let his tears soak his waistcoat, smoothing the black curls against his shoulder and murmuring only the most kind-hearted of imprecations until Rogerson had sobbed out all his fears and frustrations at captivity.
Eddie had sworn his love and devotion time and again, reassuring Tom that there had never been or would ever be another to share his heart; and he had been serious and sensible to the point that Rogerson had begun to regret asking him. Cattermole could not do things by half and he had turned from clown to sexton without the batting of an eyelid. At the fourteenth time of being told how Eddie had longed all his life to have someone who would return his love, Tom had pulled out of their embrace, cuffed the man, sworn that if he was ever so idiotic as to ask Cattermole to be serious again then he should be mast headed for an entire week, and pleaded for him to just shut up now and kiss him.
A huge grin had split Eddie's face - he wasn't daft and he'd learned a lot about guile, serving with both Pearce and Pellew - and he'd set to kissing Rogerson as if his very life depended on it. They'd made love in their silly, boyish fashion, believing that what they did was the height of sophistication and naughtiness and had fallen asleep ridiculously happy, whispering jokes of the most appalling kind and giggling like girls.
And now that Tom was awake and knew that they soon had to part they had become genuinely serious, recognising that every night together was a gift and not to be wasted, vowing never to sleep apart if ever the opportunity came to be together. They had exchanged buttons long ago and now they exchanged stocks, Eddie being unable to resist a remark or two about the state of Tom's clothes and Rogerson giving as good as he got. They parted on an insult and all was right with the world.
***
"And do you really think Pellew knows?" Hornblower held his lover close. It was pleasant just to lie and enjoy the intimacy of contact. There was no need for further excitement now - it sufficed to be alone and in love.
"He practically told me so, Horatio. When he first sent me off in Priam. He knew exactly what was at stake for me - for us." Archie snuggled his head onto his lover's chest, something he had dreamed about for days and that now felt as wondrous as when he had only wanted it.
"I can't believe he could be so indiscreet."
"He wasn't. Anyone else could have listened to what was said and would have not understood anything untoward." He tapped Horatio's chest. "And I can't believe how you could still insist that he's in ignorance. After the you have five minutes, gentlemen thing. Did you think he meant us just to shake hands and cuff each other's shoulders in a manly way?"
Horatio shook his head. "No. Indeed. Perhaps I was just deluding myself."
"He knows and he has done nothing about it save encourage us and give us time together. He is a man without parallel in the fleet, Horatio and I thank God every day that we have served under him and not many another man."
"You seem to be constantly thanking God for things." Hornblower laughed and stretched, like a self satisfied cat. He still felt the cramp of his captivity and being able to sleep in a bed, with arms and legs free, and with a glorious creature at one's side was luxury indeed.
"And why shouldn't I? I'm alive, when I should have died two, three... oh, Horatio, I've lost count of the times. And I have you and a swab on my shoulder and enough money to keep me happy and no wife at home to pine for me or for me to long to be with. Count my blessings constantly." He lay back and watched the day waxing outside, knowing that it was soon to be time for them to part again, hopefully only temporarily.
"You are my greatest blessing. I used to think it was my post captain's rank or my chance of making Admiral at a relatively young age. But now I know it's you."
"I realised that you were mine back in Spain. When you came out of that wretched hole all in one piece."
"I felt like I relived it all when I was back in that room with Rogerson and Marshall. I even woke in the night and thought I was in the oubliette - I was looking for rats and..." His voice tailed off. he had not wanted to tell Archie any of this, to bring back his own memories of incarceration, two years of hopeless captivity including a month of hell. Horatio's experiences at Ferrol and here had been nothing in comparison. But he would not dwell on this, let alone mention it.
"It's fine Horatio, truly. Please don't harp on the past - it's only the future we can change."
Hornblower nodded, unable to speak. It was the first time he had admitted to having nightmares about the time in the oubliette, but he would never tell Kennedy that he also dreamed of his lover's time spent there, torturing himself in sleep - because it was too painful to even contemplate with his waking mind - for his own culpability in sending the man there.
"Come on, there's not long before we have to be away and who knows when we'll be together again in a bed. If we've learned anything these last few years it's not to look back. I refuse to remember you despondent. Smile for me and kiss me again; let me tie your hair and set your stock."
Horatio did smile - he let Kennedy do all that he wished, returning the compliment as he helped him into his coat and picked non-existent pieces of dust from it. They kissed once more and went in search of breakfast, over which they smiled and nattered as if they had been married for the last ten years. Which, naturally, was what they were, in all but the matter of marriage lines.
