Bedknobs and Broomsticks
Jul. 2nd, 2007 11:51 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mylodonTitle: Bedknobs and Broomsticks
Pairing: H/A Original and best version.
Notes: This is for![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
shezzawatto as a) a thank you for doing a beta and b) a belated birthday pressy. The title is her prompt and the connection makes sense in my head.
I wish I owned these boys but I do not.
“I was always afraid of that suit of armour when I was younger; I was convinced that it could move and that I had seen it do so.” Archie shivered slightly. “I would rush past it, averting my boyish gaze, just in case I caught sight of it and then it would definitely come to life.”
There were two men standing in the main entrance to the Kennedy’s London home; one was the third son of the house, recently made lieutenant and glad of some leave to celebrate his promotion with those he loved. That list included the other officer – a younger man, but one longer out of the midshipman’s berth. Horatio Hornblower was destined for great things and Archie was happy, thus far, to ride on his coat tails.
“I can see why it should upset you; not the most cheerful of things to greet a visitor. And very unsettling on a dark evening.” He lightly touched the sleeve of Archie’s coat; it was a simple gesture, one of many they had developed since their time in Ferrol that could be employed aboard ship, among company, that would entirely speak of their devotion yet not raise any element of suspicion among any others present.
Horatio’s contact spoke to Kennedy as clearly as any signal might and he leaned slightly into the touch, sending his own unmistakable reply, appraising Hornblower’s number and establishing his intention as surely as if he’d had a glass to his eye and been reading off the flags.
“Were your brothers frightened, too?”
“We all were, but none of us dared admit it to Papa. When Augusta burst into tears over it one day he comforted and reassured her but he’d not have the thing removed; character forming, he says it is. And now his grandchildren will all go around scared stiff of it.” Kennedy grinned. “I dare you to walk down the stairs and through the hall tonight, in the pitch black. It’d give you the willies as well.”
“I will not take up that particular invitation, thank you. I don’t want to be creeping across the hall and have a certain lieutenant of my acquaintance sneak up dressed in a sheet or a suit of armour and scare the living daylights out of me.” Horatio noticed the rudimentary grin on his friend’s face and knew he’s been right.
“Would I do that, Horatio? Well, I suppose I might, but what I said about this thing,” he gave the armour a small kick, not too hard just in case, “is absolutely true. I was scared stiff of it. Mind you it’s not so bad here as in Scotland. That place absolutely groans with the weight of armour and weaponry that’s hung about the walls. It’s a miracle that they haven’t come a-tumbling down like Jericho.”
“I sometimes wonder what would happen if one could harness the power of all the old armaments and the like that are hanging around this country – like that sunburst of swords I’ve seen in some top notch Admirals’ cabins.”
“When were you ever in the cabins of top notch admirals? Unless they lured you in there by guile and cunning to see whether it’s true that you…”
“Hush. Anyway I’ve heard about such things – swords on one wall and pistols on the other. Imagine if they came to life in a battle and aimed at the enemy – what an effect it would have.”
“It might prove a distinctly terrible thing if their aim was not absolutely true; I’d rather have a man at the end of the hilt than some sort of spectral force.” Kennedy shivered again. “Now you’re making my flesh creep.”
“I dreamed once that Bonaparte was trying to invade and that all the old armour from the castles of the Cinque Ports - and all the coast in between - rose up and stood on the beaches to send his troops back into the waves. It was very impressive.”
“I bet it was. I’m glad you didn’t tell me at the time; I’d have had kittens.” Archie grabbed Horatio’s arm. “Come on, it’ll be dinner soon and we must priddy ourselves to the peak of beauty or Mama will be disappointed.”
***
The door to Hornblower’s bedroom creaked open; the first thought that Horatio had was that it was some stray female, who had misinterpreted his politeness at dinner for interest. He prepared to ever so politely swat her away. His second thought was that it was probably Kennedy playing silly sods, dressed in a suit of armour, thwarted that he couldn’t amuse himself with the other trick that he’d intended. In that case it would be more than a swat required.
“Horatio?” Archie bore a candle and, in its light, Hornblower could see that he only wore his nightshirt. A third thought flitted through his mind; he could hazard a guess exactly what his friend wanted and he wouldn’t be getting any of it.
“Horatio?” Kennedy’s voice was more persistent. “I can’t sleep; can I get in with you?”
“If you think it’s wise…” Hornblower had hardly finished when his bed was invaded by twelve stone of newly appointed lieutenant. “You’re cold.”
“I should say so; these floors are absolutely freezing and the draught through the windows doesn’t bear thinking about. Soon be warm though.” He made Horatio’s arm into a crook and nestled in it.
“No.”
“No what?”
“No hanky panky. We decided, didn’t we? No sharing of the last favours in your father’s house.” It was a point of principle that they had agreed long ago in case of this eventuality, even when the chances of them both getting home intact had seemed far distant.
“All I wanted was a little kiss and cuddle – everything strictly above the waist you know.”
Horatio could feel his friend giggling in his arms. “What’s so funny?”
“This reminds me of the nights back at Ferrol. When we were young and innocent and feeling our way with each other, if you’ll excuse the pun. You used to tickle me.”
“I never did.”
“Rot. When we were on hardly more than kissing terms – those first few days - you used to tickle me until I could hardly breathe. Then you would laugh as well. Such larks, eh?”
“Do you miss those times?” Hornblower rested his chin on Kennedy’s head.
“Miss being in prison? Not really; despite the obvious attractions.” Archie drew his fingers across Horatio’s chest.
“No, I mean miss the relative freedom. Nothing to do for weeks on end but be close and learn about each other. No sharing a mess and always looking over your shoulder in case someone noticed.”
“That is something that I do not regret about that time. But it’s good to be home.”
“Ferrol felt like home at times; we both said it.” Hornblower drew Kennedy closer, enjoying – despite all his misgivings – the intimacy and comfort that being in a bed together afforded.
“It did – especially for me, having been a wanderer for so long. But then they say that home is where the heart is and once the place where my heart lay managed to convey itself to Spain then it wasn’t quite like coming home, it was like home coming to me.” He pulled Horatio’s face down to him and kissed the cheek tenderly. “I love it here, and in Scotland, suits of armour that might attack me notwithstanding. But my home will always be wherever you are, by land or sea.”
Hornblower returned the kiss, anointing Kennedy’s brow with his lips. “If that’s true, then I could ask for no more. I don’t feel I have a home in Kent any more and while you’ve made me very welcome here, this is not my special place. But you’re precious to me and when I’m with you I feel more contentment than I have ever known. For all the lure of the sea, if you were at my fireside I would not care to stray from it.”
“Poppycock. You know that you could never leave going to sea, any more than I could give up visiting the theatre. It’s in our blood.”
“Then we have to arrange things that we serve together.”
“I admire your planning, Horatio - and I wish us luck of it, but I’m not sure how one can guarantee that eventuality. Better to take all our chances as they come and appreciate each day together that is given us.” Hornblower had very few hairs on his chest but Archie managed to find one of them and tweak it. “Come on; all above the waist I said and that’s what it’ll be. But don’t turn down the opportunity. Not in such a fine bed; probably the second best one in the entire house.”
“Why is it that I have the feeling that even strictly North of the Equator you’ll be up to the worst sort of mischief?”
“Because you recognise my guile and ability, my cunning and skill, my…”
Horatio began to kiss him, firmly and on the lips, not least because it was often the only way to shut the man up. “If I let you wreak havoc for a while will you settle down and let me sleep?”
Archie nodded. “I swear.”
“Then make it so. But if you stray over the line then I’ll make you go and wander around the hall in the dark.”
“I promise there will be no need of Badger Bag. Not with that threat hanging over me.” Kennedy began to giggle.
“What is it now?”
“I was just thinking that there’ll be no need of penalties; I’ve crossed your equator many a time in search of those rare undiscovered delights of the Southern hemisphere.”
“Why is it that you can take the most innocent of analogies and make it sound positively disgusting?”
“You drive me to it. Come along, kiss me now or I’m off in search of New Holland…”
Pairing: H/A Original and best version.
Notes: This is for
shezzawatto as a) a thank you for doing a beta and b) a belated birthday pressy. The title is her prompt and the connection makes sense in my head. I wish I owned these boys but I do not.
“I was always afraid of that suit of armour when I was younger; I was convinced that it could move and that I had seen it do so.” Archie shivered slightly. “I would rush past it, averting my boyish gaze, just in case I caught sight of it and then it would definitely come to life.”
There were two men standing in the main entrance to the Kennedy’s London home; one was the third son of the house, recently made lieutenant and glad of some leave to celebrate his promotion with those he loved. That list included the other officer – a younger man, but one longer out of the midshipman’s berth. Horatio Hornblower was destined for great things and Archie was happy, thus far, to ride on his coat tails.
“I can see why it should upset you; not the most cheerful of things to greet a visitor. And very unsettling on a dark evening.” He lightly touched the sleeve of Archie’s coat; it was a simple gesture, one of many they had developed since their time in Ferrol that could be employed aboard ship, among company, that would entirely speak of their devotion yet not raise any element of suspicion among any others present.
Horatio’s contact spoke to Kennedy as clearly as any signal might and he leaned slightly into the touch, sending his own unmistakable reply, appraising Hornblower’s number and establishing his intention as surely as if he’d had a glass to his eye and been reading off the flags.
“Were your brothers frightened, too?”
“We all were, but none of us dared admit it to Papa. When Augusta burst into tears over it one day he comforted and reassured her but he’d not have the thing removed; character forming, he says it is. And now his grandchildren will all go around scared stiff of it.” Kennedy grinned. “I dare you to walk down the stairs and through the hall tonight, in the pitch black. It’d give you the willies as well.”
“I will not take up that particular invitation, thank you. I don’t want to be creeping across the hall and have a certain lieutenant of my acquaintance sneak up dressed in a sheet or a suit of armour and scare the living daylights out of me.” Horatio noticed the rudimentary grin on his friend’s face and knew he’s been right.
“Would I do that, Horatio? Well, I suppose I might, but what I said about this thing,” he gave the armour a small kick, not too hard just in case, “is absolutely true. I was scared stiff of it. Mind you it’s not so bad here as in Scotland. That place absolutely groans with the weight of armour and weaponry that’s hung about the walls. It’s a miracle that they haven’t come a-tumbling down like Jericho.”
“I sometimes wonder what would happen if one could harness the power of all the old armaments and the like that are hanging around this country – like that sunburst of swords I’ve seen in some top notch Admirals’ cabins.”
“When were you ever in the cabins of top notch admirals? Unless they lured you in there by guile and cunning to see whether it’s true that you…”
“Hush. Anyway I’ve heard about such things – swords on one wall and pistols on the other. Imagine if they came to life in a battle and aimed at the enemy – what an effect it would have.”
“It might prove a distinctly terrible thing if their aim was not absolutely true; I’d rather have a man at the end of the hilt than some sort of spectral force.” Kennedy shivered again. “Now you’re making my flesh creep.”
“I dreamed once that Bonaparte was trying to invade and that all the old armour from the castles of the Cinque Ports - and all the coast in between - rose up and stood on the beaches to send his troops back into the waves. It was very impressive.”
“I bet it was. I’m glad you didn’t tell me at the time; I’d have had kittens.” Archie grabbed Horatio’s arm. “Come on, it’ll be dinner soon and we must priddy ourselves to the peak of beauty or Mama will be disappointed.”
***
The door to Hornblower’s bedroom creaked open; the first thought that Horatio had was that it was some stray female, who had misinterpreted his politeness at dinner for interest. He prepared to ever so politely swat her away. His second thought was that it was probably Kennedy playing silly sods, dressed in a suit of armour, thwarted that he couldn’t amuse himself with the other trick that he’d intended. In that case it would be more than a swat required.
“Horatio?” Archie bore a candle and, in its light, Hornblower could see that he only wore his nightshirt. A third thought flitted through his mind; he could hazard a guess exactly what his friend wanted and he wouldn’t be getting any of it.
“Horatio?” Kennedy’s voice was more persistent. “I can’t sleep; can I get in with you?”
“If you think it’s wise…” Hornblower had hardly finished when his bed was invaded by twelve stone of newly appointed lieutenant. “You’re cold.”
“I should say so; these floors are absolutely freezing and the draught through the windows doesn’t bear thinking about. Soon be warm though.” He made Horatio’s arm into a crook and nestled in it.
“No.”
“No what?”
“No hanky panky. We decided, didn’t we? No sharing of the last favours in your father’s house.” It was a point of principle that they had agreed long ago in case of this eventuality, even when the chances of them both getting home intact had seemed far distant.
“All I wanted was a little kiss and cuddle – everything strictly above the waist you know.”
Horatio could feel his friend giggling in his arms. “What’s so funny?”
“This reminds me of the nights back at Ferrol. When we were young and innocent and feeling our way with each other, if you’ll excuse the pun. You used to tickle me.”
“I never did.”
“Rot. When we were on hardly more than kissing terms – those first few days - you used to tickle me until I could hardly breathe. Then you would laugh as well. Such larks, eh?”
“Do you miss those times?” Hornblower rested his chin on Kennedy’s head.
“Miss being in prison? Not really; despite the obvious attractions.” Archie drew his fingers across Horatio’s chest.
“No, I mean miss the relative freedom. Nothing to do for weeks on end but be close and learn about each other. No sharing a mess and always looking over your shoulder in case someone noticed.”
“That is something that I do not regret about that time. But it’s good to be home.”
“Ferrol felt like home at times; we both said it.” Hornblower drew Kennedy closer, enjoying – despite all his misgivings – the intimacy and comfort that being in a bed together afforded.
“It did – especially for me, having been a wanderer for so long. But then they say that home is where the heart is and once the place where my heart lay managed to convey itself to Spain then it wasn’t quite like coming home, it was like home coming to me.” He pulled Horatio’s face down to him and kissed the cheek tenderly. “I love it here, and in Scotland, suits of armour that might attack me notwithstanding. But my home will always be wherever you are, by land or sea.”
Hornblower returned the kiss, anointing Kennedy’s brow with his lips. “If that’s true, then I could ask for no more. I don’t feel I have a home in Kent any more and while you’ve made me very welcome here, this is not my special place. But you’re precious to me and when I’m with you I feel more contentment than I have ever known. For all the lure of the sea, if you were at my fireside I would not care to stray from it.”
“Poppycock. You know that you could never leave going to sea, any more than I could give up visiting the theatre. It’s in our blood.”
“Then we have to arrange things that we serve together.”
“I admire your planning, Horatio - and I wish us luck of it, but I’m not sure how one can guarantee that eventuality. Better to take all our chances as they come and appreciate each day together that is given us.” Hornblower had very few hairs on his chest but Archie managed to find one of them and tweak it. “Come on; all above the waist I said and that’s what it’ll be. But don’t turn down the opportunity. Not in such a fine bed; probably the second best one in the entire house.”
“Why is it that I have the feeling that even strictly North of the Equator you’ll be up to the worst sort of mischief?”
“Because you recognise my guile and ability, my cunning and skill, my…”
Horatio began to kiss him, firmly and on the lips, not least because it was often the only way to shut the man up. “If I let you wreak havoc for a while will you settle down and let me sleep?”
Archie nodded. “I swear.”
“Then make it so. But if you stray over the line then I’ll make you go and wander around the hall in the dark.”
“I promise there will be no need of Badger Bag. Not with that threat hanging over me.” Kennedy began to giggle.
“What is it now?”
“I was just thinking that there’ll be no need of penalties; I’ve crossed your equator many a time in search of those rare undiscovered delights of the Southern hemisphere.”
“Why is it that you can take the most innocent of analogies and make it sound positively disgusting?”
“You drive me to it. Come along, kiss me now or I’m off in search of New Holland…”
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2007-07-02 01:16 pm (UTC)Oh, this was worth waking up early on a Monday for! Just so utterly sweet and lovely, the both of them. Even old grumpy-pants is behaving himself. (And tickles! Of course he would tickle Archie until the man couldn't breathe. Or speak, which was probably the intended side effect.)
(no subject)
Date: 2007-07-02 07:54 pm (UTC)Grumpy pants is being particularly sweet -must be the mellow influence of the Kennedy's and the Countess in particular (Elspeth, this time, not Hyacinth *g*)
I dare say you're right in re the motives for tickling.
Hugs
(no subject)
Date: 2007-07-02 02:39 pm (UTC)(And I totally get Archie's feelings w/ the suit of armor - I'm home for the week, and I do the exact same thing when I pass my dad's big ugly buckhead in the hallway at night)
(no subject)
Date: 2007-07-02 08:31 pm (UTC)Yes, I wish they were mine; although I feel as if I sort of own the Bride's versions. Nearly.
We've stayed in places with suits of armour and they are distinctly disturbing!
(no subject)
Date: 2007-07-02 03:07 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-07-02 07:26 pm (UTC)It was great fun to write banter for them in their original incarnations.
PS Archie says Horatio's curls are nit free and therefore safe to ruffle at preset.
(no subject)
Date: 2007-07-02 09:54 pm (UTC)Oh, it's great fun to write their banter, period, regardless of which incarnation.
P.S. Tell Archie thank you for me.
P.P.S. I have two more fics for you to look over. Shall I wait until you finish the one I've already sent?
(no subject)
Date: 2007-07-03 12:40 pm (UTC)PS Archie says 'you're welcome'
PPS I can barely keep my head above water at present. Your fic is on my to-do list but lloks likeit won't be done till the weekend. Please keep the others till then.
(no subject)
Date: 2007-07-03 02:47 pm (UTC)P.S. *giggles and blushes*
P.P.S. Right-o. *salutes*
(no subject)
Date: 2007-07-03 03:25 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-07-03 10:37 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-07-02 09:54 pm (UTC)“I was just thinking that there’ll be no need of penalties; I’ve crossed your equator many a time in search of those rare undiscovered delights of the Southern hemisphere.”
“Why is it that you can take the most innocent of analogies and make it sound positively disgusting?” (many giggles)
And what is a Badger Bag?
(no subject)
Date: 2007-07-03 01:40 pm (UTC)Thee are great ceremonies involved in crossing the equator, especially if it's your first time. Badger Bag is a character (sort of a ritual one I guess) involved in the ones that Patrick O'Brian relates.
Thanks
(no subject)
Date: 2007-07-03 02:29 am (UTC)Heeheeheehee!
Aw! *is dead from the adorable* Such a sweet little interlude! I would have liked to see Archie scaring the pants off Horatio, though (pun intended, of course).
(no subject)
Date: 2007-07-03 01:43 pm (UTC)I nearly wrote Archie scaring Horry's breeches off, but that seemed a bit close to the Dickens send up Jac and I did. Mustn't let ideas repeat themselves (although that doesn't seem to stop some established published athors *g*)
(no subject)
Date: 2007-07-03 05:48 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-07-03 01:44 pm (UTC)Lovely to talk last night, sorry I had to fly away.
(no subject)
Date: 2007-07-03 07:38 pm (UTC)xx
(no subject)
Date: 2007-07-03 07:19 am (UTC)You drive me to it. Come along, kiss me now or I’m off in search of New Holland…”
Splort! Wipes tea off keyboard...Oh clever one Take a bow.
(no subject)
Date: 2007-07-03 01:46 pm (UTC)Sorry if you get bad dreams - summon up Archie to protect you!
Glad it raised a laugh. *bows* *knocks head on keyboard and does in back* *g*
(no subject)
Date: 2007-07-03 12:01 pm (UTC)(Archie and the suit of armour sounds like JB2 and shop mannequins...)
(no subject)
Date: 2007-07-03 01:51 pm (UTC)Poor little baby JB2. (And how did a child who looked like that end up looking like this?)
(no subject)
Date: 2007-07-04 11:35 am (UTC)I wonder whether JB2 has hit the pinnacle of good looks or whether he'll keep getting better? He's only been super-excellent-really-really-wonderfully fit since about 2003...
(no subject)
Date: 2007-07-04 11:37 am (UTC)I think he's like Sean Connery and will just improve with age.
(no subject)
Date: 2007-07-04 12:00 pm (UTC)Hasn't Sean Connery lost most of his hair? *latches on to Barrowboy's perfect locks*
(no subject)
Date: 2007-07-03 05:54 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-07-03 08:50 pm (UTC)I hope I never have toi cross the Equator in a boat - I shall never stop grinning.
Thanks.
(no subject)
Date: 2007-07-04 02:56 am (UTC)Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!
Delightful. And you even managed to work in the Anti-poads. Clever drawers!
It's now carefully stowed in the "Mylodon" folder.
Hugs
(no subject)
Date: 2007-07-04 08:21 pm (UTC)Hogs and quiches.
PS Can you mail me your address as my youngest has something she wants to send you. Thanks.
(no subject)
Date: 2007-07-04 03:37 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-07-04 08:17 pm (UTC)Suits of armour are a bit eerie. I can manage stuffed animals though - it's ventriloquists' dummies that give me the willies.
(no subject)
Date: 2007-10-21 10:06 pm (UTC)I don't know about that whole above the equator thing. I think Horatio will give in eventually.
(no subject)
Date: 2007-10-22 12:39 pm (UTC)You think Horatio will give in? I'm not so sure - not in what amounts to his parents-in-law's house. I bet he's worried that they'll know - by telepathy or something. *g*
(no subject)
Date: 2007-10-22 02:22 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2016-08-07 04:40 pm (UTC)(no subject)
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