mylodon | follow up to Two's Company

An explanation/description of this is pointless! It's an add-on to Two's company

the_pending suggested in her comments I like to imagine the third Horatio's run into Tony Dewhurst (the cousin) and is either horribly confused or furious at what Archie's done to his hair. Couldn't quite go with this exact bunny as I realised that Horatio 3 would have met Tony in Kingston, but Horatio 2 wouldn't have.....

Notes: I neither own nor make money from these characters.

"Archie!" Horatio's voice sounded loud over the Hard, drawing everyone's faces to look at him, this young upstart who didn't have the manners to keep a quiet tongue in his head. Every face looked except Kennedy's, which continued to stare out over the water watching the bum boats hawking their wares. Hornblower was not amused at being either gawped at or ignored, even though he acknowledged that the Portsmouth drizzle had made everyone testy. Archie was supposed to have been here half an hour since - Horatio had even wandered down to the Garrison church to see if he had misunderstood the rendezvous instructions, only to return to find the truant leaning on a rail and whistling nonchalantly - and ignoring him as if he'd been the one to miss the appointment.

He strode over to the unmistakable figure, whose handsome face was being protected from the rain by a top hat that Hornblower had never seen before, although it resembled the one that Acting Lieutenant Kennedy had worn in France. So that's where the little bugger must have been - at the outfitter's, getting himself dolled up like a dogs dinner, while Hornblower had been out looking for him, sick with worry. He'd be made to pay. "Archie - you were supposed to be here ages ago - where have you been?"

Kennedy looked up, shocked. "Have you forgotten that the n-name Archie Kennedy is n-no longer to be used here?" he whispered furiously. "Artie, Artie Dewhurst, we agreed that l-long since."

Hornblower snorted; Kennedy games were afoot and he was in no mood for them. "Artie Dewhurst then, if you insist," his tone was laced with sarcasm. "It's all the same to me. Where have you been, Mr Dewhurst? "

Archie laughed. "Mixing us up again, Horatio? I know we l-look very alike but surely you, with your inside knowledge, should be able to distinguish us? He's n-not here - gone to the sally port to l-look for you."

Bloody hell - thought Hornblower - it's going to be a long night . Ever since he had taken the bullet on Renown and escaped death by a matter of hours after a neat bit of surgery from Clive, Kennedy had been given to having 'funny five minutes' as the Countess, his mother, referred to them. He'd pretend to be someone else, or not to be there at all, becoming exceedingly belligerent when challenged or made to see reason. He'd haul out all his stunning vocabulary of long words - of which 'prevaricated' was possibly the favourite - and harangue Horatio about his lack of understanding of the true situation, asserting that he really was Admiral Nelson and if half-baked whippersnappers of lieutenants were not perceptive enough to appreciate his bona fides then they would find themselves kissing the gunner's daughter like the most inconsequential snotty.

Kennedy would then snap out of his daze as quickly as he had gone into it and blame Horatio for being daft and playing silly buggers. Of course I'm not Nelson - he would aver - although if Hornblower expected him to do his duty he would oblige as normal.

Today, Horatio reflected, Archie seemed to think himself a Dewhurst - there were people of that name on the Kennedy family tree so it had some logic to it, although he could do without the rather affected stammer that had been put on. Might offend some poor chap who really did suffer with his speech. Horatio would just have to play along and see what happened. He essayed a suggestion, "Shall we go and have a pint somewhere?"

"That would be most pleasurable. The George is always amenable and Arch - I mean Artie - will probably l-look in there for you, seeing as that's where you spend the n-nights together." He grinned, his face boyish and lovely and Hornblower began to think of pleasant means to exact a punishment for being duped so. En route to the High Street he kept the conversation strictly neutral, never referring to Kennedy's identity - that wasn't worth the risk.

Entering the hostelry, Archie took off his hat and Horatio received another shock. The little swine had been to a barber and lost his queue, his hair appearing now in the style that Old Bones Apart favoured and which was gaining ground among English officers. That was the final straw; he loved Archie's hair as it had always been - long, swirling over the pillow like finest Welsh gold - and to see it cropped was heart breaking. "Your hair," he hissed ferociously, "What have you done to it?"

Kennedy looked puzzled. "Well it's a l-little l-longer than usual, haven't been able to find a barber yet. What is the matter? You l-look l-like you're about to explode."

Hornblower grabbed Archie's arm and propelled him up the stairs to their room, ignoring all signs of protest. He slammed the door behind them and pinned his lover to it. "That's quite enough. I don't mind you playing silly games or when you come over odd and can't help how you act, but this has gone too far. You promised me, swore on your life, that you would never cut your hair short. What am I to kiss and taste? What am I to feel? Not this excuse for a thatch." He ran his fingers through what was left of Archie's magnificent mane and stopped short. He felt the scalp gingerly, then tenderly. "What's this Archie - feels like a scar. I've never come across it before." He stopped, stiffened, look distressed. "And you definitely didn't have it last night."

A look of bleak realisation came across Kennedy's face. "You really do think I'm him, don't you Horatio? But it's me - cousin Tony. You kn-know how I got this," he touched his scalp, "misfire from a Frenchman's bullet. Luckily only a piece of metal came out of the cylinder but I went down l-like a stone and played dead. Archie told you all about it - I was there when he did."

Hornblower looked even more distressed. "Archie told me about your activities, many a time, but we have never met. Not once."

The two men eyed each other. "One of us is going mad, Horatio. Or else there are a pair of men who l-look just like us going about this town; one is your Archie and another is my cousin's Hornblower, whom he is seeking up and down Portsmouth as we speak. Where your friend is I do not kn-know." A cunning look came into his eye. "N-now here's an interesting little situation. I've always had rather a soft spot for you, Horatio - since we first met in Jamaica - but I would n-never have insulted my cousin by presuming on his territory. However your Archie is n-not my cousin, n-not in this mad world we seem to have stepped into. Therefore I think that ethically I can quite reasonably suggest we become better acquainted." He drew his hand along Horatio's jawline. "Very smooth - I always suspected it would be."

Hornblower drew back - this presented him with a moral dilemma of enormous proportions. Dewhurst was attractive (of course he was, he being Kennedy's double) and there was a certain frisson in the thought of a dalliance with him - to lie with Archie and yet not quite - what delights would be found in those strong arms? He leaned into the lips that were being offered, only stopping short when a sweet, well spoken voice whispered in his brain. Duty, Horatio; loyalty. He stepped back. "I'm profoundly sorry sir - I have no idea how you came to be here, but I suspect you have been sent to test me. I refuse to take the bait." He wore his most serious look, one that - if he had been with the real Archie - his lover would have kissed off his face in an instant. "I am determined to remain true to my friend."

He looked pompous and stiff and adorable - Dewhurst felt a huge surge of emotion and realised the time for departure had come, before he disgraced himself and things became even more complicated. "Shame," he said simply, turning to open the door. "If you change your mind or get tired of my cousin I can be found on my estate in Jamaica or at my London club." He bowed and left.

Horatio shook himself, rolled his eyes and shoulders, pinched himself three times. He could just about persuade himself that this had all been a hallucination, brought on by an excess of oyster pie the night before - he therefore decided that's exactly what it had been and determined to think no more about it. He had Kennedy to find and needed to be sharp about it; the man was probably waiting for him somewhere with a temper that was growing fouler by the moment. Setting off for the Keppel's head he eagerly awaited the relatively straightforward situation of apology and forgiveness that would await him there.

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From:

jestana.livejournal.com

*giggles madly* Poor Horatio! He can't seem to get a break, can he? *grin* Lovely!

From:

follow up to Two's Company

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