Fic: Curse 5/?
Feb. 7th, 2009 12:36 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mylodonHH/Shifting Sands.
Bean settled into his seat, cast a glance at the figure beside him. In the dark, lit only by the flickering advertising images on screen, Horatio looked even more like Danny. The curls, the big, serious eyes and sensual mouth; how peculiar that they’d both encountered the doppelgangers of the people who meant the most to them. Poor, confused Danny, as lost as Hornblower seemed to be.
There was more held in common between these two young men than just looks, though. Bean recognised that they both had a quality of authority, the sort of men who are the world’s natural leaders, those turned to in a crisis. Not that he could imagine sisters or female friends pouring out their wounded hearts to Horatio, any more than he could imagine Danny leading sets of gun crews into action. But each would carry their given situation through with reliability and good sense.
And now Danny was as far apart from Bean – emotionally, if not in terms of space and time - as Horatio was from his Archie. Had people, this Captain Pellew, maybe, asked Horatio the same sort of questions as had been asked of him? Where’s that nice Danny these days? You used to be such good friends and now he’s hardly ever around here. Don’t you miss him? It had been easy for Bean to answer, a ready made excuse to hand in that Danny had got into Cambridge first time while he’d been put into ‘the pool’ and been left there. His parents had been sympathetic, encouraged him to apply again, keep trying, had tactfully stopped mentioning his friend after a while. His mother had assumed that Danny had been boasting, or – worse still – patronising, and he’d passed from conversation as easily as Archie probably disappeared from talk in the mess.
How could Bean have ever told his parents the truth? Danny’s in denial; he’s gay like me but he won’t even try to come to terms with it. Didn’t I say that I was gay, mum? Sorry, must have forgotten, like I forgot to mention what Danny and I were doing in that tent down in Devon back in July. Only I should say, before you choke on your G&T, that it really wasn’t very much going on, no more than went on up in our rooms or in the changing rooms after school. I think the correct description would be a few fumbles. And that was the nub of it, really. I wanted to go further, of course I did. I love him Mum; it’s as simple as that. Only he doesn’t want to face up to it. Thinks it’s just a phase, the sort of things any lads get up to.
Danny probably still wasn’t facing up to it. Maybe he regretted the dissolution of their friendship, but he’d be burying his head in the sand as usual. Bean cast another glance at the man beside him; he seemed enthralled by the events on screen, Dirk Bogarde – Lord, he looked like Horatio and Danny, too – explaining to the lovely Sylvia Sims about all the skeletons in his closet which were forcing their way out. He hoped that Horatio would get some clue, if not from this film then from the other half of the bill. A heart to heart afterwards might just make sure he got the message.
Maybe fate, the angels, God, had arranged for this chance meeting. Bean would bet twenty quid that he didn’t just have Archie’s appearance in common with the long lost sailor, that they shared certain inclinations. And that Horatio’s semblance to Danny was more than dark curls and air of authority. They were both in denial – Hornblower with more cause, naturally, coming from an age when being gay meant risking more than just reputation. Maybe he and Archie hadn’t got up to any of the physical shenanigans, down below decks, that he and Danny had indulged in, up in his bedroom on a wet Saturday afternoon, but there was some quality in Horatio’s voice which gave his heart away.
You loved him and you didn’t dare tell him. Maybe that’s what you have to understand.
Bean settled into his seat, cast a glance at the figure beside him. In the dark, lit only by the flickering advertising images on screen, Horatio looked even more like Danny. The curls, the big, serious eyes and sensual mouth; how peculiar that they’d both encountered the doppelgangers of the people who meant the most to them. Poor, confused Danny, as lost as Hornblower seemed to be.
There was more held in common between these two young men than just looks, though. Bean recognised that they both had a quality of authority, the sort of men who are the world’s natural leaders, those turned to in a crisis. Not that he could imagine sisters or female friends pouring out their wounded hearts to Horatio, any more than he could imagine Danny leading sets of gun crews into action. But each would carry their given situation through with reliability and good sense.
And now Danny was as far apart from Bean – emotionally, if not in terms of space and time - as Horatio was from his Archie. Had people, this Captain Pellew, maybe, asked Horatio the same sort of questions as had been asked of him? Where’s that nice Danny these days? You used to be such good friends and now he’s hardly ever around here. Don’t you miss him? It had been easy for Bean to answer, a ready made excuse to hand in that Danny had got into Cambridge first time while he’d been put into ‘the pool’ and been left there. His parents had been sympathetic, encouraged him to apply again, keep trying, had tactfully stopped mentioning his friend after a while. His mother had assumed that Danny had been boasting, or – worse still – patronising, and he’d passed from conversation as easily as Archie probably disappeared from talk in the mess.
How could Bean have ever told his parents the truth? Danny’s in denial; he’s gay like me but he won’t even try to come to terms with it. Didn’t I say that I was gay, mum? Sorry, must have forgotten, like I forgot to mention what Danny and I were doing in that tent down in Devon back in July. Only I should say, before you choke on your G&T, that it really wasn’t very much going on, no more than went on up in our rooms or in the changing rooms after school. I think the correct description would be a few fumbles. And that was the nub of it, really. I wanted to go further, of course I did. I love him Mum; it’s as simple as that. Only he doesn’t want to face up to it. Thinks it’s just a phase, the sort of things any lads get up to.
Danny probably still wasn’t facing up to it. Maybe he regretted the dissolution of their friendship, but he’d be burying his head in the sand as usual. Bean cast another glance at the man beside him; he seemed enthralled by the events on screen, Dirk Bogarde – Lord, he looked like Horatio and Danny, too – explaining to the lovely Sylvia Sims about all the skeletons in his closet which were forcing their way out. He hoped that Horatio would get some clue, if not from this film then from the other half of the bill. A heart to heart afterwards might just make sure he got the message.
Maybe fate, the angels, God, had arranged for this chance meeting. Bean would bet twenty quid that he didn’t just have Archie’s appearance in common with the long lost sailor, that they shared certain inclinations. And that Horatio’s semblance to Danny was more than dark curls and air of authority. They were both in denial – Hornblower with more cause, naturally, coming from an age when being gay meant risking more than just reputation. Maybe he and Archie hadn’t got up to any of the physical shenanigans, down below decks, that he and Danny had indulged in, up in his bedroom on a wet Saturday afternoon, but there was some quality in Horatio’s voice which gave his heart away.
You loved him and you didn’t dare tell him. Maybe that’s what you have to understand.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2009-02-07 02:44 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-02-07 08:46 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-02-07 03:57 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-02-07 09:11 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-02-07 10:22 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-02-07 04:25 pm (UTC)This may be the ultimate Clueless (tm) Horatio -- requiring displacement in space and time to get him to recognize the obvious.
Waiting next bit with bated breath.
(no subject)
Date: 2009-02-07 09:16 pm (UTC)I like that - 'ultimate Clueless (tm) Horatio'. Poor lad.
*mwah*
(no subject)
Date: 2009-02-07 09:19 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-02-07 09:28 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-02-07 10:16 pm (UTC)That's our Horry. Has to be smacked upside the head with it before he realizes that friends don't feel that strongly other friends. ;)
(no subject)
Date: 2009-02-08 12:54 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-02-08 12:29 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-02-08 12:49 pm (UTC)I'd love to know what happened to alienate Danny and Bean...
(no subject)
Date: 2009-02-08 04:02 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-02-08 12:46 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-02-08 05:18 am (UTC)I'm still tap dancing to keep up with what
*squishes*
(no subject)
Date: 2009-02-08 12:55 pm (UTC)Glad you like the story - that makes my day. And that Charlie, well, she makes me dizzy!