Modern day Archie blogging here today

[mylodon]

I know this is a day early, but life is getting a bit hectic and Jonty will be blogging chez Charlie tomorrow and I'll never cope. Here he is...

Miss Mylodon has kindly agreed to me blogging for her today. If I’ve not had the pleasure if being introduced to you, may I say that I’m Archie Kennedy, aka Dr. Sorbus, writer of detective fiction. I know that at least one of you is a fan of my Inspector Hargreaves and that Miss Mylodon has posted some extracts from his stories in this journal.

I must start by mentioning the rugby match on Saturday, which seems to be customary here. I shall be shouting for London Irish, of course, and Old grumpy Guinness, better known as my civil (when he feels like being civil) partner Horatio will be supporting the conniving bunch of cheating swines. By which I mean Leicester Tigers. May the better team win, unless it’s Leicester, in which case may the Irish win.

Life has been busy these last few months. Death shops at Waitrose, the one with the exploding quails’ eggs, goes from strength to strength and there is a rumour of a TV adaptation starring someone called Gruffudd (never heard of him) as Hargreaves. I rather liked that young Sergeant in Law and order so will be rooting for the actor who played him to be given the part. If it gets off the ground. I do wish RTD would make up his mind. Death wears a scrumcap won an award for the best murder method – rugby boots with poison in the studs which could be dispensed by means of an electronic signal. I’m presently working on the follow up - Death drinks Pinot Grigio.

Hargreaves fanfiction abounds, particularly at the site wobbly_frame, where they specialise in what I understand is called ‘slash’. They will soon be having their annual competition, The Big Bell Pull Awards. I was thinking of entering but Horatio says I’ll only be cross when I come in fourth. I’m less happy about hargreavesgals, where they insist on pairing my Inspector off with every female in sight. It’s totally against character. I mean, Vince in his younger days indulged in the odd snog with girls, it was expected of him, but no more than a grope here or there. Hargreaves never got beyond spin the bottle.

It’s bad enough when they indulge in ‘Changreaves’, where they pair up my lovely lawyer with the Inspector – even if he were so inclined, he’d not indulge. Her fiancé, Viscount Bamber, would have his guts for garters. What’s really galling is when they have him falling in love – or into bed – with beautiful, talented, Cambridge double firsted, judo black belted females, each one ghastlier than the one before. Horatio says they’re called Mary Lous or Peggy Sues or something equally vile.

If you have any questions, please post them here. The old trout has his grumperella classes tonight so I’ll have some peace and quiet to answer them.

Comments

[atthe-algonquin.livejournal.com]

Very pleased you could join us, darling :) Thrilled for you that the books are doing well and as for the fanfic -- well, it's a compliment. Conversely, it's also why they hard liquor exists ;) Come by, and Mama will fix you some JD and Coke and make it all go away.

Horatio will be supporting the conniving bunch of cheating swines. By which I mean Leicester Tigers

Give him a kick for me, please.

(I'd do it myself, but I'll be too busy still celebrating the end of Holley's coaching reign/recovering from watching my team lose Friday night. Ospreys have already lost the championship, but the team we're fielding is pretty much the definition of 'phoning it in'. Bloody Munnher.)

[mylodon.livejournal.com]

Is there any part of the anatomy you would prefer me to aim this kick at?

Thank you for the offer of comfort. This fanfic thing is odd - I'd quite like it if I could control it. Write Hargreaves and Vince on holiday, by all means, but no girlie snogs.

We like the Ospreys, so we, Miss Atthe? I believe Miss Mylodon has a penchant for a certain Mr. Bowe...

[atthe-algonquin.livejournal.com]

Is there any part of the anatomy you would prefer me to aim this kick at?

Gentleman's choice. (And if Horatio replies "And when I find one, I'll let him know.", he gets a second kick.)

Mr Bowe is lovely indeed, if a bit large in the mouth for my tastes. Such a sweet little voice. Did you hear the other Hairsprays made him eat lunch alone, the Monday after Ireland's Grand Slam? :)

Yrs,

Marie

[mylodon.livejournal.com]

Marie

I'll kick his bottom as that's becoming quite well padded.

I had heard about him being set off with his tuna and mayonnaise. Miss Mylodon says 'Hairsprays' is just the right name. She also says she's seen less effeminate interior decorators.

Archie

[atthe-algonquin.livejournal.com]

Archie,

Alas, I can't take credit for Hairsprays -- got it from a Welsh rugby forum. (They're quite fun -- Blouses, obvious; Turks for the Scarlets; and 'oh God please put them and us out of our misery' for the Dragons...)

Please tell Miss Mylodon that she's not allowed to inspire any Bowe/other rugger thoughts in my head anymore.

kisses,

Marie

[mylodon.livejournal.com]

Big girls' blouses or little-boys-of-twenty-who-look-thirteen-blouses?

Miss Mylodon says that a story set on ship with a timid officer's servant with the initials TB had never crossed her mind.

[atthe-algonquin.livejournal.com]

Confidential to Ms Mylodon: Am about to be adult and revise for exams. Once that's over, though, there's going to be an original fic starring aforesaid officer's servant. As long as she forgives one for making the officer a long-legged, soft-spoken Welshman who occasionally makes terribly bad marketing decisions.

And, dear Archie who is being so kind as to actually blog, and whose attention I am taking so much of, another question for you: I have recently discovered that sitting in a cafe with a hot choc and The Moonstone is one of the greatest joys known to mankind. Do you agree? What are your other favourite comfort reads?

(And, most importantly, what have you fooled Horatio into reading -- either on his own or aloud to you -- that scandalized him the most?)

[mylodon.livejournal.com]

Bad marketing decisions? He decided to do that?

My best comfort reads are anything by Mary Renault (especially if it has nice men in it), Michael Innes' Death at the President's Lodging and Brewer's Dictionary of Phrase and Fable.

Horatio reads nothing but the newspaper, or Rugby World. He thinks a copy of The Cricketer is scandalous enough.

[atthe-algonquin.livejournal.com]

He decided to do that?

Well, I'm still hoping that he just lost a very, very large bet, but you never know...

My best comfort reads are anything by Mary Renault (especially if it has nice men in it), Michael Innes' Death at the President's Lodging and Brewer's Dictionary of Phrase and Fable.

Lovely! I adore Brewer's Dictionary, and I shall have to look up the Innes book especially. Summer's coming, and I need some nice reading...

Horatio reads nothing but the newspaper, or Rugby World. He thinks a copy of The Cricketer is scandalous enough.

Harrumph. Absolutely dreadful of him -- does he read your books, at least?

[mylodon.livejournal.com]

You might have to look in second hand shops for the Innes. Miss Mylodon says she'll keep an eye out for a copy.

I'm not surprised you like Brewer's - you strike me as a sensible girl. Horatio has never read any of my books. The same as Mr Mylodon.

[atthe-algonquin.livejournal.com]

Miss Mylodon says she'll keep an eye out for a copy.

Bless -- Cardiff's library is sadly lacking. (I'm charity shop-hopping tomorrow in search of a dress to wear to a party this weekend -- I'll keep an eye out as well.)


I'm not surprised you like Brewer's - you strike me as a sensible girl. Horatio has never read any of my books. The same as Mr Mylodon.


Aw, cheers for the compliment. And hee. Neither of them would ever recover...

[atthe-algonquin.livejournal.com]

Oh, right, a question. Have you still got the doubled-headed coin?

[mylodon.livejournal.com]

Of course I do. Am keeping it safe to show Gumpy Guinness on our fifth anniversary. He'll go spare.

[atthe-algonquin.livejournal.com]

You are a brilliant, lovely man. That is all.

[esmerelda-t.livejournal.com]

Mr. Kennedy, your link to Wobbly Frame doesn't seem to be working. It is cruel to tease us and then provide broken links you know.

You may remember Mr. Gruffudd from The Forsythe Saga remake, he was the only who got run over by a carriage.

[mylodon.livejournal.com]

Ah. My publisher, Indefatigable Press, have a new lawyer, Mr Daniels, who has been mutterig about gettig these fanfic sites shut down...

Oh, so that's who he is. Skinny chap. Big nose. Saws his hands in the air. He reminded me of someone but I can't put a name to him...

[esmerelda-t.livejournal.com]

Ah, that's publisher/networks/the man in general for you, always banging on about 'copyright infringement'.

That's the very one, curly hair usually too, but someone had taken a straightening iron to him in that.

[atthe-algonquin.livejournal.com]

he was the only who got run over by a carriage.

Unfortunately.

[esmerelda-t.livejournal.com]

It's usually that young sergeant from Law and Order that gets killed in everything he's in.

[atthe-algonquin.livejournal.com]

Icon love!

(I'm still impressed that Lee Adama survived the entirety of BSG's run. I was waiting for a gut-shot at any moment, honestly.)

[esmerelda-t.livejournal.com]

I can't take any credit for it, I'd have nabbed it from a com at one point after agreeing with the sentiment. :)

(Oh me too, there could have ewoks in the finale and as long as Lee was alive ny the end credits I'd have considered it a \o/)

[mylodon.livejournal.com]

Is that the nice sergeant from Law and Order almost wearing that towel? Im afraid I haven't see him in his Sci-Fi show. Pretty boy.

[mzcalypso.livejournal.com]

He probably got hanged for his clever idea re: technology as soon as someone came down with an abscessed tooth.

[mylodon.livejournal.com]

Can you explain that? (I haven't watched any BSG in years...)

[mylodon.livejournal.com]

I shall be very cross if they kill him off in the Autum when it returns. Miss Mylodon says she'll chain herself to the railings at ITV.

[esmerelda-t.livejournal.com]

With ITV's budget woes perhaps he'll be a ghost you only hear but never see, voice over work has to be cheaper than having all these actors hanging about all day, demanding to be fed and rendering the place untidy.

And that is indeed him in the towel, you should show Horatio. He may act aghast but I suspect it's all a front.

[mylodon.livejournal.com]

A voiceover on top of an endless loop of him in that towel would be most acceptable. If I get him to play hargreaves he'll be getting in and out of the shower all the time...

Hpratio did harrumph, but I notice he made a note of the name.

[xbeyondinsanex.livejournal.com]

Mr. Kennedy,

What do you do when you suffer writer's block? I generally stare at picture of that same Detective Sergant till inspiration comes, but I've run out of new pictures.

Ta,

Elle

[mylodon.livejournal.com]

Elle

If I could guarantee a cure from writer's block I'd be a rich man. Horatio, if he were here and not out learning how to be even grumpier, would say I'm already a rich man, but he's a pedant.

I find the best way out of the block is to write. Anything. Get a mad idea and just begin to craft it - doesn't matter if you ever use it again, it might get the creative juices flowing. I have whole files full of Inspector Hargreaves doing mad things (like being assigned to Torchwood) which will never see the light of day but which help get me writing proper stuff a=once more.

Archie

[trusea.livejournal.com]

*head goes asplody*

Mr Gruffudd would make a good Inspector Hargreaves. He's got the curls and the pretty. Perhaps RTD would cast that handsome sergeant in L&O as Vince?

And, Mr Kennedy, please fix the broken links. I need my daily fix of Hargreaves slash!

[mylodon.livejournal.com]

Miss Tru

You will have to talk to Mr Daniels about the broken links. He's the lawyer for my publisher, Indefatigable books, and I suspect he's been swashing his buckle - or buckling his swash - at what he regards as pirates.

I will put your casting proposal to RTD. It might just work, although in an ideal world the Inspector would be played by his sporting namesake and Vince would be the lovely Mr Parisse from Stade Francais.

Do you write for 'wobbly frame'?

Archie

[trusea.livejournal.com]

Archie,

Please tell Mr Daniels that we at WobblyFrame are good pirates, not bad pirates! I was going to post a drabble on Inspector H and Vince watching the other Mr Hargreaves play at Old Trafford, only to discover that the comm had been deleted. Sigh.

If they cast Mssrs Hargreaves and Parisse in the roles, they would have to find some other people to do the voice works for them, wouldn't they? Or Inspector H would sound Canandian and Vince Italian(?)...

Tru

[mylodon.livejournal.com]

Tru

I can't seem to tell MMr Daniels anything. Feel free to post your drabble in your own journal.

I like the thought of voiceovers - better than changing the characters' back stories. Mr Bamber could do Hargreaves and Michael Moloney Vince?

Arch

[hockeyvaughnfan.livejournal.com]

Archie (do you mind if I call you Archie??)

Don't know if Miss Mylodon will show you this, but just wanted to say sorry about the rugby result last week, hopefully today's has made it all better!

Hope to see you around here again sometime and hopefully by then Horatio will have seen the light re the team he supports (or stopped being so grumpy, whichever is most likely!!!)

[mylodon.livejournal.com]

You may certainly call me Archie.

Yes, the result for BOD's boys made up in part for last week. We were at the match, as was Miss Mylodon, although our paths didn't cross; we were staying in Leith, which my grumpy friend likes, whereas they were near the zoo. It was all for the best - I'm not sure Miss M would have liked her daughters to hear the language Horatio was using after the final whistle. Nor would Horatio have liked to be privvy to the wanton stealing and hiding of no parking notices which was being perpetrated by certain ladies (young and old).