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mylodon ([personal profile] mylodon) wrote2006-09-18 02:11 pm
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The varying shore o' th' world 2

Title: The varying shore o' th' world 2/?
Rating: PG
Pairing: Horatio/Apollo
Summary: The dynamic duo set sail. Written in collaboration with [livejournal.com profile] calavarna and to be found in her journal here
Notes: Hornblower and BSG are most definitely not ours.

varying shore II - Part I

[identity profile] allegro-mnt.livejournal.com 2007-01-29 08:34 pm (UTC)(link)
Along with lectures, my daily consumption of your amazing writing has resumed. I have to say that I really, really enjoyed how much we are in both their heads in this episode. Both of them thinking about their feelings and what will happen and what it all means. Really adds a lot to the story. I remember hearing about writing: show, don’t tell and that’s really what this does. And the whole chapter, especially the first half was so well written (as usual I know). You must tire of the endless stream of accolades but it was so good – each word was exactly was exactly where it should be and expressed so much about their characters. It reminded me of an article I read a few years ago – the first time I really found beauty in well written prose – and I was struck by how well wrought every last bit of it was. I came away from this instalment with precisely the same feeling.

And I agonized (well as much as one can ‘agonize’ over anything in 20 minutes) over whether to post this here or where it was posted and realised that, being short on time, it wouldn’t be very nice to impose my stream of consciousness type comments on an innocent bystander without some introduction or explanation and I don’t have the time today. Sorry!

But thank you for this – so well crafted and simply a joy to read. I love lee so much and all the others too. This is terrible, Jack is rubbing off on me. *disciplines self for becoming a tart* I don’t want to be that way. I must think of archie’s example – good, loyal, strong, honest, and constant.

He was a good actor, if nothing else.
Unlike some people …

It took less then ten minutes for Adama to return, triumphantly thrusting a small silver object into Horatio’s hand and grinning smugly. “It’s called a lighter.”
Awww. I can imagine lee!jamie muddling through it all and coming up wit this.

“See? Instant fire. That good enough for you?” His father had pressed the lighter into his hand moments before he had left Galactica for the last time.
And his expressions! I love the mix of modern day parlance and the speech of the time. Adds loads to their characters

When he had hared off, weaving elegant patterns with his lithe frame among the good folk of Portsmouth, it had been to his previous lodgings; to pay the landlady - not just for the night's stay he had missed but for the fine breakfast she had provided that morning.
What a lovely image to imagine. It reminds me vaguely of something in pc when pullings was so happy and maturing watched him run off to something. Though Jamie!lee has such a lovely visage.

Adama's handsome face paled. "My father. Before I set off from Galactica in my Raptor. It was to be my good luck charm; perhaps that's why I survived when the rest didn't. I have no idea whether my old man had the same fortune as me."
Awww. Maybe this is another way they can bond  both of them having more difficult family relationships though it might make them more tempestuous at times too.

varying shore II - Part ii

[identity profile] allegro-mnt.livejournal.com 2007-01-29 08:35 pm (UTC)(link)
Lee looked away, swallowing the bile that threatened to rise in his throat, well aware that his regret was plainly writ on his face. “I don’t think I’ll ever get back.”
Oh poor lee. And Jamie would do this so well. I think this ought to filmed some day too.

Horatio reached a hand out and then aborted the movement, hesitant to offer comfort lest it be rejected.
That’s good old horry. His characterization was very, gentle in all this. I know that sounds odd applied to him but in this context he seemed half-way between brides!horry and other!aos!horry.

“Don’t Horatio. You’ll burn yourself.” Adama saw the curiosity in Hornblower’s eyes and moved to retrieve the lighter before any damage was done.
Awww. Lee is so sweet being kind and parental. It’s interesting, he’s this big tough man, world-weary and knowledgeable about so many things (is he older than hh in this?) and so tries to be protective and gentle, softening so many things for this hh: trying to find ways to prove he wasn’t lying and that he is worthy of trust, and trying to lead/protect in a world where really he’s the one who needs the protection, etc, etc. It’s beautifully done. And it’s very endearing.

almost daring him to intervene, before flicking the lighter into flame. A stifled gasp of pain escaped his lips as he dropped the lighter to the floor and clutched at his wounded hand.
Stubborn (but grieving so he deserves some latitude).

and if nothing else his actions may have been a balm for the pain embedded in Horatio’s soul. He had made his feelings known, but whether reciprocation or rejection lay in Hornblower’s next words he couldn’t tell.
Just a beautifully crafted phrase. Had to comment. I had highlighted most of the story (thank goodness for the highlighting function) and realised you’d tire of: oh that’s so perfect. Beautifully written, etc, etc.

Archie always used to say it was the detail that was convincing in a story - anyone could make up a tale about flying among the clouds, but they would struggle to maintain the particulars of an alien world. Tell me the ordinary things.
archie always used to say. Aww.

In the end it was one seemingly simple detail that had finally convinced Hornblower - the fact that women served shoulder to shoulder with men, wore the same uniforms, flew the same machines … would have been so outlandish as to turn the normal practice of society upside down. As far as he was concerned this had to be the truth.
This tells us so much about hh’s character. I love how it was done and so completely the character as well.

varying shore II - part III

[identity profile] allegro-mnt.livejournal.com 2007-01-29 08:35 pm (UTC)(link)
Adama tried hard not to grin. He had become used to what seemed to him the ridiculously stiff necked nature of some of the people he had met in these Isles, but Horatio had to win the prize for pomposity.
*giggle* another perfectly wrought phrase. I have no restraint. It’s so true as well. *Awards hh prize*

Horatio cleared his throat loudly
Shades of book!horry. I remember his ‘ha-h’ming’ over and over again

A sudden, uncharacteristic flash of resentment flared in Lee’s eyes at the mention of mutiny and told Horatio far more than he needed to know. This was no ordinary officer; whether he had been a party in sedition himself or had been subjected to it Hornblower couldn’t deduce, but distress was evident along every sharp plane of Adama’s face.
And this tells us so much about lee; the depth of character and torment. Though it’s mean to JAMIE I do like when his characters have these hidden depths of conscience or contemplation. It adds so much.

He was gratified to find that Adama had picked up an awful lot of words on the vessel that had rescued him - including the names of the primary sails and ropes - and understood the general principles involved in a ship making its way by wind power alone.
He’d be a good student – clever guy just like the real JB.

Besides you wanted to pretend I was him. Maybe one more night with him, even just sleeping, is what you need."
I hope that hh will one day REALLY love him for him, not because he looks like ak, you know?

They had truly broken the mould when they made Archie Kennedy.
Indeed, in all his incarnations.

Horatio lay awake for a time, his thoughts racing, his hands clenched together.
Again, perfect characterization. He does this often (well when not with his true love AK)

Lee rolled his eyes, a blush colouring his cheeks. “They’ll have forgotten everything by the morning.”
Oh I like this about lee. It makes him most endearing, a little shy and then:
“And you, Horatio, were you impressed?” Lee curved his lips into a teasing smile.
He’s back to his playful self. Such a great character.

He was surprised that Hornblower could have spent almost ten years fighting at sea yet still suffered from sea sickness. At least his Viper training had given him a strong stomach; he felt perfectly fine, and had been from the moment he’d set foot on the ship.
Fortunate man. And yeah, I do wonder how they dealt with it in reality b/c I have the impression people don’t know if they’ll suffer or not until actually on a boat, like altitude sickness.

He was far from fine, Adama could tell by simply looking at him, and he was worried, but he would allow Horatio to maintain his pride.
Oh how sweet, now lee is worrying about him. What a pair

He could find no words, nor actions, with which he could properly express his gratitude for having been accepted by Hornblower. One day he would repay that debt.
Oh I love lee. He’s so amazing in this. And thank you so much for this!!! So good so good. Words aren’t adequate and never could be.

More later,
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